Tuesday, November 03, 2020

LIGHTING A MATCH ...

It's election day, which in the third world -- Florida, Kentucky, Georgia, South Carolina, and Philadelphia -- means that the chance of violence, discord, and mayhem, is incredibly high.
Also here in Northern California and Oregon, because of our solidarity with poor repressed malnourished third worlders, and our hatred for the Orange Cheeto.
Plus Lindsey Graham and Mitch McConnell.
Loathsome dickwads.


A CHRONOLOGY


MID MORNING, AROUND 10:30 AM:
Posted on a pipe board: In approximately half an hour I shall leave the house with my ballot, some bank documents to attend to at East West Bank (which is closing early today because of the chance of rowdiness), two pipes (one already in my mouth when the door shuts), tobacco, a shopping list, and a truly HORRIBLE attitude. Oh, and my stoutest walking stick.
For social distancing and possible mayhem.


MID AFTERNOON, AFTER 2:00 PM:
Succesfully voted and did my banking. The number of plate glass windows in the Financial District that are boarded up in case bad actors come to town is staggering.
There was no rioting at that time.

Did my shopping in Chinatown. Cheung fan and some potstickers for my downstairs neighbor, plus a strip of cured meat. The other potstickers and cured meat were for me. Throat lozenges, weird candy, and diverse vegetables. Plus both black and red dried dates.

What I lit up in front of the apartment building and finished down near the Embarcadero Center was an item older than myself filled with Astleys' No. 109 Medium Flake.

Lunch was all-American. Potstickers, bacon, yau choi, and cheesy bread. With Sriracha hot sauce. Then some strong coffee to calm my nerves.


TEA TIME, AROUND FOUR:
Popped open a tin of Greg Pease's Stonehenge Flake. It was puffy and bloated from age, just like our esteemed president the Orange Cheeto. But not as cheesy by far, not odious at all.
And it would have made a far better chief executive these past four years.

Checked my messages. One recorded sales call in Mandarin, one robocall telling me to stay home and out of trouble today. Erased both; simply living in a country with so many fans of cheetos is plenty trouble anyhow.
The cured meat (臘肉 'laap yiuk') will be held in reserve. It will be great steamed with rice, some fresh vegetables on the side. The place where I got the cheung fan and potstickers now also does their own meat-curing. I am looking forward to enjoying it.

The flake will be loaded up after I've finished my tea.

Upon consideration, the cured meat would ALSO have made a better chief executive.

More intelligent, better looking, and more loved.


Whatever happens, I need to buy more Stonehenge Flake. Enough to last me through the next cycle of violence and right wing bullshit. I'll count on my fellow Americans locally to keep me fully supplied with Chinese style cured meat.

Stay smoky, my friends.




TOBACCO INDEX


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