Sometimes the best thing to be is a round-eye white person, with facial hair and a pipe. Because such an individual can do surprising and comforting things. It's a blessing
The little girl was having such a fun time eating out with her family at the restaurant that she accidentally bit her tongue. This startled and hurt her, and naturally she started wailing. Her daddy took her outside to let her get over it, gently talking to her.
I had already paid and tipped at that point, so I put on my coat and picked up my pipe. When I got outside they were right there. She was still weeping; likely because she was missing all the excitement.
I hurked down and asked her:
"Mei-mei ah, ni wei shemmah ku le?"
[妹妹啊，你為什麼哭了？ 'Little sister, why are you crying?']
"Oh! Ni shwo hwa?!?"
[哦，你說話？！？ 'Oh, you (can) speak?!?']
"Shr."
[是。'Indeed.']
She was no longer upset now, just rather baffled.
As I lit my pipe she and her father went back in.
I am a wondrous beast.
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