THAT UNCLE IN SAN FRANCISCO

It rained in the middle of the night which is unseasonal; usually we don't get that this late in the year. It's been a wetter rainy season than in years. And the cold seems more intense this April too. But that could simply be thinner skin and less body fat. My apartment mate worries that I'm not eating enough, which is absurd. I've gained weight these past three years.
After my appendix ruptured I was probably more than thirty pounds lighter.

Which if you're not thinking straight might lead you to believe that an appendix can be up to thirty pounds. An incorrect assumption. It's less than ten. Quite considerably.

I am not entirely confortable with how my body has changed.


But it wasn't an ideal body to begin with. I never did look like a Greek god. More like a lazy Roman who had never fought on the frontiers of Germania or Gaul, but had stayed safely behind the lines eating regional delicacies and pursuing local maidens on my donkey. And lamenting the poor quality of the local wines. Has there been another shipment of amphorae from the south yet? Dammit, it's been two years now. They've really got to do something about these roads! A man can't get civilized luxuries if they don't.

And building baths might be a good idea too.

Back in my day it wasn't so cold, you could get a French dip at Woolworths, and there weren't all of those kids on my lawn!

Yeah, I have no idea why I woke up with a French dip sandwich in my head. French bread, roast beef, jus, and a side of Fries. It isn't common any more, though I would imagine it was quite the thing back in the thirties and forties.


The fries are much better than they were years ago, roast beef is mostly old hat and old school, the cup of coffee you'd have with it while eating at the counter is far superior to the burnt slop which was so common back then, and the chance that the diner has a bottle of hot sauce on the premises is excellent. There is probably also a vegan option for your pale goth cousin from Detroit who is currently visiting. Other than the plain boiled potatoes she's seemingly been living on. They might even have tofu!

You know, Shannonah, tofu goes great with meat juices.
Shall I pour some of this jus over it?
You look a bit thin.



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