MOST VALUABLE SUGGESTION

Sydney Fylbert, the turkey vulture who lives in my apartment, knows that where I work there are a large number of old kvetchy men whose wives and other family members are pleased that they congregate together in an isolated place where they can smell bad and vociferate against everything that offends the modern conservative hosebag, without bothering civilized humans with their squawks of outrage. And their smells. Biden, Kamala, pronouns, liberals, foreigners, electric cars, windmills, and people of whichever gender that wear dresses.

He has offered to help. I should take him to work, he suggests, so that he can look them over and select a few. Especially the well-marbled ones. No one will miss them.

He says I am his daddy and should make sure he's well fed.

Gently separate them from the rest, then "whack!"

A resolute clop upside the head.

"Come along, old geeze, step into the light."

Obviously they won't know what's up till it's too late, and we can then harvest them for the most nutritious and delicious body parts. He's hungry, and this will alleviate that.

While I must admit that I find much about this idea that appeals to me, I have explained to him, numerous times, that there are laws against specifically that. After the Donner Party (1847) the State of California legislated against animal based proteins. Fact. And whacking odious old farts on the noggin is generally frowned upon in any case. So no can do. I will not be a party to harvesting these old men, even though their frequent temperamental eruptions and stupid comments piss the heck off out of me. Yes, they deserve it, but no, I shan't bring him to work with a cleaver, and we're leaving the barbecue sauce at home.

For the time being.



In the middle of the group screaming over the impending arraignment of the biggest loser of elections in history, one of them rushed to the bathroom where he had an "accident". We never should have told the others that they could use the employee facilities afterwards. Some of them are shaky, with bad eye sight. Unsteady bunch, none too functional.



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