Tuesday, April 04, 2023


Several years ago I wrote an imaginary personal ad that mentioned noodles. It was in a way a classic of insanity. Which is an affliction that some might think defines me, and to which, grudgingly, I will sometimes admit.

There are THREE key elements to the ad.

"Fairly decent man seeks perspicacious and mature young lady who likes noodles and doesn’t mind trim little beards or the smell of tobacco. Must have a stuffed bunny rabbit or equivalent small creature, one with a distinct personality, and intellectual pursuits. Possibly wearing spectacles. Does your bunny rabbit read Charles Dickens or Proust? Does he or she feel unique at times? And does your bunny occasionally channel for Elvis?
Sudoku? Cryptoquip? Bad puns?
I have a monkey!
End quote.

Those are still the parameters.

Key elements: noodles, a stuffed creature, and reading.
Four if you also count the bad puns.
Basically, an ability to enjoy food, especially comfort food.
Expressiveness coupled with a rich imagination.
As well as broad literacy.

Young lady is as flexible a term as "young man". I define myself as a young man.
And I still haven't decided what I'm going to be when I grow up.

I'm never going to place the ad, because I know exactly who and what would respond. Tattooed glutenphobes calling me a hater, as well as narrow minded about everything. Allergenicans have rights too! Sexist male chauvenist food pig!

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

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