IT WAS PREORDAINED!

Having mentioned certain things in a previous post, it was only a matter of time before the perverts sat up and took notice. In consequence of which, some of my essays have gotten more attention recently than was perhaps merited.

I now am convinced that the internet is filled with teenage boys being icky.

Which it actually is. They're all over the place.

How utterly disgusting!

What drew them here was the mention of the word "nipples". On Sunday I wrote about a gentleman who for some berserk reason obsesses over the special nozzle of a particular brand of butane, colloquially called "the little white nipple". Which is used for only one type of cigarette lighter. He once spent forty minutes or so ranting about there being none available. Because he doesn't formulate his sentences fully, and tends to go off at length on tangents quite unaware of place, context, surroundings, or other human beings, many folks around him at that time were convinced that there was a live pervert on the premises.
Little white nipples? What is this? Is he daft? Or dangerous?

Females of the species took a wide arc around him.

They were falsely impressed.

Some of us knew what had twisted his giblets, but we weren't letting on. Not the termination of a mound of cellular matter of a shape and dimension resembling a fresh raspeberry on top of vanilla pudding (see the helpful diagram above), but instead something cold and hard, made out of plastic and affixed to a metal nozzle. Which, admittedly, is also exciting.
See illustration below.

Admit it, that brought a sweat to your brow.

You are hot and bothered, I can tell.

Have something cooling.

A nice blob of vanilla, mango, or banana pudding, garnished with a raspberry plopped right in the centre, suggestively. Or maybe it's durian. With a raspberry.


It looks like a nipple, no? How much more nipplesomely nipplish can it get?
The answer is 'none more'. None more nipplicious.
Nippledy nipple nip-nip nipple!


Nipple fest!


On an entirely different subject, after finishing my post-lunch pipe-smoke, and doing some errands, the prospect of afternoon tea beckoned. Alas, the place where I wished to go was crowded. Not a seat to be had. Much like the bakery I'm avoiding because everyone from the country districts of Toishan goes there in the afternoon and growls at me when I try to take the one vacant seat. Apparently they were saving it for Uncle Syphilis or sumpin'.

Having a nice hot cup of tea at home right now.
With a crisp peeled fruit as snack.
Entirely by my self.


And on another note: the number of human nipples out there is approximately and very close to two times the number of people in the world. Ain't mathematics wonderful?



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