At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Saturday, August 05, 2017


Until today I had no clue who Lena Dunham is. But a friend is outraged that Lena Dunham is trying to get two American Airlines employees fired over anti-transgender remarks in a private conversation that Lena overheard.

Frankly, I don't give a damn. Some self important twat tweeting stupid things doesn't cut my gristle. I do not understand why Lena Dunham is famous, I have never watched her shows or movies, and it's of no import whatsoever that she has all the charm of earth-moving equipment.

She should go piss up a rope.

And devil-worshipping transgenders overwhelmingly(!) supported Trump, so they can go piss up a rope too. As indeed can all those neurotic New York noodges of whom Lena Dunham is the archetype, and for whom Lena Dunham is the one whose coming was foretold.

Today someone assured me that we were all under the control of Admiralty. He also can go piss up a rope.

One person today inquired about "the most organic tobacco".

"I'm sorry, it's all vaccinated AND gmo."

Go piss up a rope.

Caitlin Jenner, Jenny McCarthy, Vani Hari, Gwynneth 'Goop' Paltrow, Ingrid Newkirk and Alex Pacheco, Vladimir Putin, Michael Farage, Geert Wilders, Texas, Benjamin Netanyahu, Caroline Festering Bio-hazard Glick, Narendra Modi, the Bharata Janata Party and their gau rakshak goondas, Fox News, New York, Hollywood, and Bernie Sanders can all go piss up a rope.
Milo Yanniopoulos can go piss up a rope.
So can Alex Jones.

Trump can't, but that's only because his brain and bladder are old, decrepit, and dribble a lot, plus he's full of something else.
Ooze up the rope.

Somebody informed me recently that the reason why German tanks rolled all over the French tanks in World War Two was because the French tanks were veneered -- brilliant and stylish furniture finishes are what the French are known for -- whereas the Germans had steel. Cold hard steel.
Ford motor quality. If you know what I mean. Hint, Hint.
A novel and charming idea, but totally berserk.
That person should piss up a rope.

Pissing up a rope leads to greatness. When architect Domenico Fontana was installing the famous Obelisk in Saint Peter's Square, it was the simple sailor Benedetto Bresca who saved the day on 28 September 1586 by yelling that they should piss up a rope. The friction lessened, the cords tightened, and the work was completed. True story. Look it up.

Per Wikipedia, "organic matter makes up between 65% and 85% of urine dry solids, with volatile solids comprising 75–85% of total solids. Urea is the largest constituent of the solids, constituting more than 50% of the total. On an elemental level, human urine contains 6.87 g/L carbon, 8.12 g/L nitrogen, 8.25 g/L oxygen, and 1.51 g/L hydrogen. The exact proportions vary with individuals and with factors such as diet and health."

By Jmarchn - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0,

I also have other useful suggestions.
File under "life hack".
Just ask.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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