Sunday, August 20, 2017

AND THEIR TEETH ARE BLACK BECAUSE OF IT ...

An enterprising kid, she asked me what I wanted to eat. In this she was probably encouraged by her grandma, who already knew I spoke Chinese, and may have wanted to see the girl's surprised reaction. Grandma must've been totally gratified when the kid finally asked if I also spoke English, as understanding me was obviously a struggle, given the gap between Toisan and standard Cantonese. Or rather, standard accented kwailo Cantonese.
If it hadn't been for her mother, I would've ended up with bittermelon and spare ribs (凉瓜排骨飯) instead of bittermelon and fish (涼瓜斑球飯).
Next time I'll probably have the spare ribs.


We continued our conversation in English, in consequence of which she now knows that the briar pipe which I was filling with tobacco preparatory to a post-meal smoke is, in fact, very much like a seui yin tong (水烟筒), which many people in her home town still use. Large segment of bamboo, small tobacco cup stuck into it above a water line, and you suck on the end of the vertically held bamboo bong. Then you smell smoky. Bad.

She was fascinated by my fingers, tobacco, and pipe.

You're going to do it afterwards, right?

And outside?


She is not sure if she believes in a "deity", but she's going to a Catholic school so she is being indoctrinated. Her natural skepticism indicates that there is a bullshit quotient to reports of the supernatural from her teachers ("they believe, so they say it's true"), and she's heard that before Jesus - Mary - Joseph, people believed a whole bunch of different things.
But she knows that Santa exists, because she saw him.

I don't think she was pulling my leg.

She really did see him.

He favourite after school snack, she informed me, was hard boiled egg with a drizzle of soy sauce. And there's a twirly thing that flies off a thing that contains candy, if you get the angle just right and turn it four times.
Then you press here. And she demonstrated.


Then my food came, and under her mother's watchful eye she reviewed her school lessons at another table, before going next door to see an auntie.


This was probably the best conversation with a female person I have had in a long while. No judgments, no praeconceptions. Just a frank and informative exchange about mutual interests.




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5 comments:

Dilbert said...

Did you get her contact info?

The back of the hill said...

ROTFL.

Dilbert said...

She probably knows her phone number.

The back of the hill said...

Do I need to stress that she's a grammar school student?

By the time she's a post-grad, I'll be a superannuated old fossil.

And by that time, phone numbers will probably be passé.

Anonymous said...

Androids and electric sheep.

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