AMERICAN, EAT MORE PORK!

Our president advocates coating bullets with pig fat to stop terrorism. While the magic efficacy of lard is somewhat in doubt -- in fact its greatest verified success has been to heal a boil on a cat's bum in England in 1970 -- as true and loyal Americans we all owe him our complete and total trust.
The problem is that there is not enough of it.
Withal, an insufficient stockpile.
We lack the fat.


BUT A SOLUTION IS OBVIOUS!


If you care at all about this country and its survival, you yourself possess the tools. Save your bacon drippings and trimmed streaky meat scraps, and regularly mail these substances to: 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue North-West, Washington, DC 20500.

If all of us chip in, the problem will quickly be history.
As Mr. Bimmler said, "soon, baby".


From Wikipedia:
"Lard is pig fat in both its rendered and unrendered forms. It is obtained from any part of the pig where there is a high proportion of adipose tissue. It can be rendered by steaming it or boiling it in water and then separating the insoluble fat from the water, or by the use of dry heat. It is a semi-soft white fat with a high saturated fatty acid content and no transfats."
End quote.


Please note that the German version of Wikipedia mentions not only pig fat ("lard") but goosefat and other animal derived greases.
Zitat: "Schmalz (von schmelzen), auch Schmer (von schmieren), ist weiterverarbeitetes Schlachtfett von Tieren, vor allem von Schweinen und Gänsen. Das Schlachtfett von Rindern hat einen höheren Schmelzpunkt und wird Talg genannt."
Zitat ende.

For our purposes, this is of course incorrect.
Goosefat only kills your doctor.


One would have thought that there would be enough pork fat in the hands of our government already, but it turns out its mostly LFTB.

That address again:
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue North-West, Washington, DC 20500.

Alternatively:
310 First Street South-East, Washington, DC 20003.



Outside the U.S., address your package to:
23, Ilyinka Street, Moscow, 103132
Vnimaniye: rozovaya obezyana.

It's long march from Coventry to North Minehead.



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