LAME BEYOND BELIEF

This morning I made sure to get to work early, so that at an opportune moment of my choosing I could be in the nearest parking lot or public open space -- a sidewalk, for instance -- to drink in the eclipse. That is to say, the darkness. The media had been hyping this thing for weeks; event of the decade, stupendous, and not to be missed. Do NOT look directly at it! Treat it like a psychotic street person, and avoid eye contact. Evenso. Some of us by now were expecting end of days behaviour from the fragile masses, and rioting in the streets. Scenes of mayhem and existenzangst.
Possibly even looting, if we could be so lucky.
And I was determined to be there.
I was fully prepared.
Caffeinated.

The earlier bus dropped me off in foggy overcast Marin an hour before the event was scheduled.


WORTST. ECLIPSE. EVER!!!

Grey skies, low fog over nearby hills, no direct sunlight. Just a tad gloomier than England in summer. It reminded me of several weeks I spent in Devonshire, on the days when it wasn't raining.
Normal summer weather, in other words.
Just a little less bright.

Source: Simpsons Wiki, Comic Book Guy. Ultimate responsibility (as well as any/all blame): Matt Groening & Hank Azaria.

Do not look too long into the impenetrable clouds, folks, it's dangerous. You might keel over from boredom. Or lose track of what you are supposed to be doing. Start thinking about tomato sauce and bacon over rice stick noodles, with oregano and a squirt of Sri Racha hot sauce.
Your pipe might go out.

Don't forget to add some fish paste, as it contributes nicely to the total experience and compliments fatty pork products, though if you don't have any you can substitute some anchovies, mashed up and added to the bacon when it's nearly crisp. Then dump in the chopped tomatoes.

Who organized this sorry excuse for an eclipse?

The government?

Bah!




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