Tuesday, March 07, 2017

BUT IT'S GORMY!

There was a time when San Francisco wasn't filled with twats worrying about gmos, gluten, meat, and foods not carefully curated by nature types and spiritual people following their bliss by farm dilettantery. You used to be able to eat a hamburger or hotdog every few blocks or so -- the Hungry Hippo was less than a mile away from where I'm sitting now, and there was a Zim's within walking distance -- and intelligent people happily chowed down on nature's protein-rich bounty. This is no longer the case.

We have less than one tenth the number of hamburger joints, chili dog places, and greasy spoons that we used to have.
A lot of the flavour has gone.

In this city you now have to go to Chinatown for real food. To any place that does NOT cater to a bunch of white folks who work in offices, OR wear weird Guatemalan shmatte.

What I had for lunch was 鹹魚雞粒豆腐飯 and it was delicious. The rice, of course, was a gmo. All rice is, even that unhusked brown crap that health freaks eat. There was animal protein abundantly present in the dish, as well as salt fish (cancer!), and tofu (man-boobs! shrunken testicles! thyroid!).


A normal person would need a high-colonic and a juice cleanse after this.
As well as Tibetan prayers, and chakra realignment.


I have super-human powers.
I am not a normal person.
I can eat real food.


Normal people will not touch a hamburger unless it is gormy ("gourmet"). And made with beef from stress-free bovines who were cuddled till the moment they died, served on an artisanal bun with baby greens.
Forget Grey Poupon, that's SO last century.
Stone ground Belgian Ale mustard.
Heirloom tomato ketchup.

Gormy ("gourmet") used to mean that it was rather good, and fun to eat. Now it implies an awakened soul, and meaningful creativity as applied to mundane ingredients, making them super high-fallutin', and a lot more expensive. Pus tablecloths and exotic bottle water.

No dolphins or native people were killed to make this.
And part of our profits go to a good cause.
Our waiters are all artists.

Gormy.


You know, that may be the first time they served 鹹魚雞粒豆腐飯 to a Caucasian, judging by their reaction, and the fact that they don't cater to our type. We ask too many stupid questions, cluster in high traffic zones, and disapprove of nearly everything. We will include them in our learning experience, and if they were honest they'd indicate that this did not make their day. We are too high maintenance to make it worthwhile.

I've always like 鹹魚 because of the saveur it adds.
And the combination with 雞 is traditional.
It also goes well with 五花腩。
It's gourmet.


I love my Caucasian kinfolk and friends, but there are very few of them whom I will trust around food. They don't know how to eat properly.




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