CHACHANTENG SYNDROME

Quandary: statins counter levels of lipids in the blood, but also decrease serotonin, leading to an increase in obsessive and neurotic tendencies. For which the solution is more cheese, more bacon, more fatty meats .....
And eggs.

Which means that the thus medicated person must head to a chachanteng today in order to be truly happy. Lord knows that I don't need to be any more obsessive and neurotic than I already am.

Yes, you can all stop giggling now.


茶餐廳

For the unaware, a chachanteng is a Hong Kong style restaurant where you will enjoy things like porkchops on top of spaghetti smothered in cheese (蕃茄豬扒意粉 'faan ke chyu baa yi fan'), Portuguese chicken rice (焗葡國雞飯 'guk pou gwok gai faan'; a base of egg-fried rice with mild coconut curry chicken and cheese baked under the broiler), macaroni with fried egg and luncheon meat in tomato sauce (鮮茄牛肉午餐肉煎蛋通粉 'sin ke ngau yiuk ngau yiuk jin daan tong fan'), baked curry seafood covered in white sauce and cheese (咖喱海鮮芝士焗飯 'gaa lei hoi sin ji si guk faan'), won ton and porkchop noodle soup, French toast HK style, HK club sandwiches (公司三文治 'gong-si saam-man-ji'), and my current favourite, bitter melon omelette with a pile of rice (涼瓜煎蛋飯 'leung gwaa jin daan faan').
That last item is NOT covered with cheese.

All of these things are great with gobs of hot sauce.
And, conceivably, a rasher or two of bacon.

[A few explanatory notes: 番茄汁 ('faan ke jap'): tomato sauce. 白汁 ('baak jap'): white sauce. 芝士 ('ji si'): cheese. Statins (他汀類藥物): commonly prescribed cholesterol lowering drugs.]

The reason why they're called a chachanteng (茶餐廳 "tea restaurant") is because you can get tea beverages there. Hong Kong milk tea (港式奶茶: 'gong-sik naai-cha'; strong tea with sweetened condensed milk), lemon tea, mixed milk tea and coffee (鴛鴦 'yuen yeung', "mandarin ducks"), etcetera. Chinese style tea is served primarily to rinse your utensils.


唔該加一兩片培根 (煙肉)


Due to a change of schedule, I shan't be working on Superbowl Sunday, but an extra day in the preceding week. So my plans for February second at the present time include heading over to a favourite chachanteng for lunch precisely at kick-off time for a satisfying hour or two with food that makes me happy, and hot Hong Kong Milk Tea.

No noise. No loud screaming. No yobbos snarfing chili and pizza.

Even the rest of Chinatown will probably be quiet. No tourists. No fastidious visitors holding their noses when they see me smoking a pipe.


In an ideal world, Hong Kong chachantengs and Bombay Irani cafes would be combined, and pipe-smoking would be encouraged on the premises. This is NOT an ideal world, I shall have to spend time outdoors with my trusty briar, but at least I'll be well fed, and safe from the sports fans.

Football is an idiotic sport, and tourists are unnecessary. Tea, tobacco, and hot sauce ("sambal") are worthwhile and essential.

I'll probably have a selection of bulldog pipes with me.
I plan on enjoying myself immensely.

TOBACCO INDEX


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