I actually got back to my neighborhood about two hours ago, but witnessed an accident and stayed at the scene so that I could tell the cops what I had seen. And got harassed by a crazy person while waiting. Naturally I gave them the "diplomatic" report, rather than mouthing off with the unvarnished account: old guy crossed in the middle of the block, got hit by slow moving car. Barely a thump, and he fell to the ground. The old guy may have had a few, the driver was probably stoned on pot, and the crazy person is definitely off his meds and needs to be zapped with a stun gun.
While at work, which was quiet because of the weather -- it meezered all day, and even nearby features of the landscape were invisible, enveloped in dense haze in consequence -- Neil mentioned over a cup of tea that he had recently rediscovered a tin of Rattray's Jocks Mixture from shortly after production had moved from England to Germany, so probably two decades ago. He had forgotten how nice it could be.
Many of the old Scottish tobaccos go well with tea. He had spent an hour yesterday afternoon on his patio with his cat, his pipe, a cuppa, and the neighborhood coyote roaming at the far end of the yard.
The cat will not be allowed outside anymore.
Unless firmly accompanied.
[Meezered: from Dutch "miezerig" (adjective), weather twixt a thick but not hefty drizzle and a woolly soggifying mistiness. The pavement gets moist, but it's pointless to deploy an umbrella, because that suggests it's raining, and in any case it's not coming down, more of a sideways drift. Today was quite miezerig.]
Cat, tea, pipe. Sounds very nice. The coyote is a little discordant, and the poor beast may be hungry at this time of year. There are so few chihuahuas out there now. I suggested bribing the creature -- perhaps a piece of tender beef daily, to keep it from thinking of cats as dinner -- as well as leaving out a hardware store catalogue, but it seems unlikely that he'll do that.
He remarked that being moored in a desert with nothing to smoke but various Rattrays mixtures would be more than bearable. Timbouctou or someplace. A statement with which I can only agree, though I should want a regular supply of tea flown in every month as well, and a good curry restaurant there already.
RATTRAYS, MCCONNELLS, ASTLEYS, ET AUTRES
Rattrays was part of the McConnell portfolio, which Kohlhase & Kopp acquired about twenty years ago. Which also included products for Astley's and Fribourg & Treyer. K & K have played a bit with the recipes, and have sometimes been less than 100% ethical regarding blend composition and original marque, but on the whole they've done an excellent job of keeping venerable names alive and in circulation.
The products under the McConnell name are all quite good, though perhaps not as famous, and they undeservedly appeal less to the neurotic blinkered pipe smoking cognoscenti.
I've had a lot of fun with them, and nothing says teatime better than cracking a tin on a rainy day and settling down for a good read while it clatters and splashes outside. Perhaps the Eindhovens Dagblad, for the crime reports about Valkenswaard over the weekend, or the Volkskrant, for childish anti-Americanism. No British newspapers, because they're virtually unreadable, and have too many titty pictures. Page three: miss Tuesday.
Does the Kempische Koerier still exist? Marriages, funerals.
And events arguably of a cultural nature.
It probably doesn't rain very often in Timbouctou.
Tea, they have. Decent curry, probably not.
Clattering outside? Camel caravan.
And rowdy Tuaregs.
MCCONNELL PRODUCTS: A SMALL SELECTION
The following are descriptions of several tobaccos which a well-stocked tobacconist should have, whether or not they are in Timbouctou. It would make life among the howling camelteers and pot-huffing Californians more than bearable.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – FOLDED FLAKE
Very much like Rattray’s Marlin Flake. Virginia, a little Dark Fired Kentucky, a fraction of Perique. Easy smoking, no longer folded but cut. Slightly similar to Stonehaven, but sweeter.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – GLEN PIPER
Virginias and Cavendishes, some Kentucky. Spritzed with fruitiness, rum, and allegedly chocolate. A well-behaved tobacco, but one which gives the purist second thoughts. Rummy, plummy, puddingy. Medium to mild, especially if dried out a bit and smoked slowly.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – LATAKIA FLAKE
Latakia, Kentucky, black Virginia. But mostly Latakia. Woody and earthy. Almost floral because of steam-pressing, but the Kentucky is distinctly noticeable too. Neat but fragile black flakes. Nice. Old-fashioned and extremely English. A great late night puffer.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – MATURE
Contains mostly Virginias, with Orientals playing second fiddle. Fruity broken flakes. Citrussy and woodsy, topped (anethole, carotenoids).
ROBERT MCCONNELL – OLD LONDON PEBBLE CUT
Carolina, Virginia, Perique, and a little Macedonian (now replaced with black Virginia!), hard pressed, cut, stoved. Leathery, yeasty, figgy, complex. Very mild; a mellow easy smoker. Reminds one rather of Marlin Flake.
It is not a pebble cut. And they’ve diddled with the recipe.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – The Original ORIENTAL
Cyprus and Turkey, black Virginia, touch of Perique. An English standard, very Londonian. Smokey, leathery, dark fruit. Complex, medium.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – RED VIRGINIA
An old classic; Carolina red with a very minor touch of Perique. Tangy, grassy, and fruity, smells roasty, mildly sweet. Fully rubbed out.
Can be subtle. Consistent. Medium-bodied. Good.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – RICH DARK VIRGINIA
Similar to Astley’s 88. Dark, almost black. Stoved Virginia. Chunky and ribbony. Smells roasty. Rich in taste and smell, but of a single-minded character, not complex. Citrussy. Sweet. Very enjoyable.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – SCOTTISH CAKE
Virginia and Kentucky with a smidge of Burley. Lovely thin-sliced broken flakes. In the tin-aroma the Virginia dominates, less so in the smoking.
Grassy, citrusy, earthy. Creamy. Good all day smoke.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – SCOTTISH FLAKE
“Mature red Virginia and Kentucky from North Carolina, black cavendish and Turkish are blended with latakia to produce a blend which has given quiet satisfaction to smokers for over a century.”
Burns evenly, smells rich and plummy. Thin flakes. Sweet, grassy, hay-like in fragrance. Delicious.
ROBERT MCCONNELL – SPECIAL LONDON MATURE
Straight Virginia, red-bronze to deep brown. Ribbon-like, fully broken, mild to mild-medium.
Now if only Timbouctou had a tea merchant worth patronizing. Without access to good tea (Assam, Ceylon, Keemun, Lapsang Souchong, Pu Erh, Golden Tippy Yunnan, plus Oolong, Iron Lohan, Dragon Well, 六安, 碧螺春, and 水金龜) settling down for a good smoke is far less enjoyable.
At work I swill weak Pu Erh like you wouldn't believe.
I'm high as a kite by the end of the day.
Proper hydration!
TOBACCO INDEX
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