Thursday, December 19, 2019

IT'S NARCO-STATIC!

The BBC speculates that the Netherlands is a narco-state in the making. Apparently even the Mexican cartels are present in Amsterdam, which, for food-mavens, is a godsend. Import some cooks, amigos! It's been long known that the biggest danger to Dutch civilization was not the Muslims or Islamic fanatics, contrary to what Geert Wilders may have told all those gullible Americans, but rampant drug use in Europe facilitated and enabled by canny Dutchmen and Dutch-speaking Moroccans, as well as frighteningly near-British and Irish standards of cuisine.
The food of existential despair.

The Dutch immigrant Muslim community has not improved matters.
Newcomers came from poorer social strata with bad diets.
And grew grossly fat on Dutch fried foods.
Instead of cooking.


PEANUT SAUCE AND HERRING ON EVERYTHING!


Mexican drug lords at least come from a major culinary culture, so this development is an altogether positive thing. French fries with mayonnaise, while the nectar of the gods for resident Moroccans, Turks, and Israelis, are anathematic to narco-trafficante feinschmeckers. Even visiting drug addicts from England and Germany will be impressed by the improvements.

Have some flautas smothered in mole and queso blanco before you shoot that poison into your veins. Or, in Dutch: "geniet van flautas in mole gesmoord, met witte Mexikaansche kaas er over, voordat ge dat gif je aderen in spuit". These quesadillas with salsa verde are truly delicious, you German methamphetamine freak, try some! "Deze quesadillas met groene salsa zijn werkelijk voortreffelijk, gij Duitsche spied-friek, probeer ze eens!"
A watermelon Agua Fresca and some psychedelic drugs will take your mind entirely off Trump! "Een watermeloen Agua Fresca en 'n behoorlijke dosis psychedelische verdovingsmiddelen kunnen je aandacht helemaal van Trump afbrengen!" Chiles picante en escabeche! "Snoepgoed."

Oh, and please don't forget the hot sauce.

Sambal would also work.




AFTER THOUGHT

The Mocro-Maffia (Moroccan crimininal networks) have been disappointing in the culinary realm; coarse tastes, and not "connoisseurs" of anything other than cliché ways to kill people or victimize their own community.





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