Sunday, May 26, 2019

SMELLS NASTY, TASTES WORSE

As a reminder to the pervert classes, here is a complete description of an aromatic pipe tobacco that is incredibly popular. Especially among bearded hipsters, nonconformists, and people with highly individualistic tattoos.

Strictly personal opinions.
Not an advertisement.


MOLTO DOLCE
By Sutliff Tobacco Company

Black Cavendish, Burley, Virginia
Flavouring: Caramel, Vanillin, Honey
Etcetera.

Conceivably lignin-containing waste and petrochemicals.

There is also something disturbingly like coconut macaroon in there, perhaps as a perfume fixative -- it survives longer than anything else if the tin is opened -- as well as enough humectant to pickle a pharaoh.


This blend is moist and oily, sticky to the touch, stains paper. The various tobacco components are drowned out by the added substances, and it never truly dries. Hippy candles, cheap Indian incense bought on Telegraph Avenue, a cloying candy odeur. Intelligent people do well to avoid it.

Juveniles may like this.



When I was fifteen or sixteen, I shifted from aromatics to Latakia blends, years later eventually migrating toward Virginia and Perique mixtures and pressed flake. The pipe tobacco my father smoked in his briars was an old-fashioned American style product, Virginia and Burley with a rather spartan inclusion of condimental leaves. Many Dutchmen I knew as a teenager smoked blends based on un-sauced Maryland, later on in Berkeley I encountered quite a few smokers who liked the Orientals.

Most of them would gag if given this.

Sound sensible folks.



The people I know who smoke Molto Dolce are all skeevy, and have other dubious habits. This is just a personal observation, of course, but I live in San Francisco, and I have met an incredible number of sick bastards.
So I know what I am talking about.





TOBACCO INDEX


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================

No comments:

Search This Blog

A DUMPSTER FIRE OF TWITTERY

Often while at work I get to hear the sour old dingbats in the backroom spouting Republican drivel and venom. Which does not leave me positi...