USE A SHOVEL

There are some things that, at the crack of dawn, even the most pensive of men has a hard time bending his head around. For instance, the sameness of small animal carcasses and "touching" oneself.

As per Leviticus (Shemini).


11:28  And also, one who picks up its dead body must wash also his clothing, and remains unclean until evening. These are unclean to you ... "
"Vehanose et nivlatam yechabes begadav vetame ad ha arev teme'im hemah lachem.
11:29  These are the little creatures that creep on land which are unclean to you: the stoat, the mouse, the ferret ... 
"Ve zeh lachem ha tame ba sherets ha shorets al ha'arets ha choled ve ha achbar ve ha tsav leminehu ... "
11:30  the field mouse, the lizard, the salamander, the snail, and the gecko.
"Ve ha anakah ve ha koach ve ha leta'ah ve ha chomet ve ha tinshemet."
11:31  These are the little creatures that are unclean to you, whosoever touches them when they are dead will remain unclean until evening.
"Eleh hatme'im lachem bechol ha sherets kol hanogea bahem bemotam yitma ad ha arev."


The same restrictions apply to "touching" oneself. Go sit in the tub til dark.
Okay. That's mighty peculiar.


"...asher kidshanu be mitzvosav ve tzivanu shel chomes."


Fortunate, indeed, is the man who dwelleth near running water.
Or the woman. Most women avoid dead creatures.
But, for the odd one, a bath is necessary.


There are good reasons why I do not teach Sunday School.
Besides my thorough skepticism, that is.
Or cynicism. That too.



Perhaps I should bathe more.




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