Monday, October 02, 2023

IT'S SHINY!

On my way to work there are crows, and I often hear them in my neighborhood. Crows are harbingers of good luck. Understandable, as they project an image of confidence and ownership. When walking, they strut. Cocky. They own this sidewalk.
It is theirs. They found it.

Unlike seagulls, who always seem to feel like rude interlopers, though unaware of the skeeviness of that. Bitch, gimme that slice of pizza! I want it!

Crows always give me a warm happy feeling.
And do not wish to take my pizza.
Unless I indicate sharesies.

One of these days I'll make sure to have snacks with me when I head down the sidewalk to work of a morning. Win friends and influence people, as Dale Carnegie would say.
Avian people. Corvid Americans.

Inclusionary egalitarianism.
If it were up to me, I'd give them the vote. They'd elect shiny people and cracked nuts. While avoiding the smelly grease stains and perfumed ponces. At least, I think so. We need somebody to outvote the suburban Karens, and I think crows could do it.

Instead of "you can't sell beverages here, little girl", they'd go "ooh, lemonade!" and happily cluster round. "We'll give you shiny things, just keep the lovely liquid coming!"


As the dominant species, it is our duty to introduce them to the benefits of the modern world. Lemonade, pizza, and Snickers Bars.



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