AND CLARICE'S MOMMA

It was eighty nine degrees Fahrenheit today. Which, when you have poor circulation in the extremities, high blood pressure, and medications which are determined to effect certain functions optimumly if it's the last thing they do, means that for six plus hours I was in nightmarish agony.

[The medications force the body to do what it does not wish to, which in hot weather becomes sheer torture. My legs, for instance, damned well refused to funtion properly, and were hot and throbby. It took me an hour to walk four blocks.]

Now, I know there are some people out there who say "oh it was lovely, I wish it was like this all the time!" "Such gorgeous weather!" "At last some summer temperatures, thank heavens!" Who, if I could function without being in pain, I would beat savagely with a blunt object (my walking stick, for instance).

Do you know what happens when it's that close to ninety degrees all the time?

The giant fricking spiders will land, that's what.

They'll colonize the planet.

Best case scenario: they'll keep us as pets, and allow us our own little personal libraries for entertainment, because we're so good at getting rid of their parasites, and very amusing when we have allergic reactions to venom splashes, and their irritating leg hairs.


Worst case: They'll have us fight each other with blunt objects.
It'so gosh darn entertaining when we club each other.



Best part of the day was overhearing a phone conversation: "Your momma ain't the same woman you saw last week, Clarice, the chemo and radiation are wrecking her, it smells like dead rat inside, and it's coming out of her pores. Last night she fell, and insisted the floor was covered with weeds and bushes. Dead rat, Clarice! I used to be a nurse at an old folks home, I know what that smells like! And she kept asking for Doogie!"
I wish I knew what Clarice felt about all that.



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