GLASGOW, THE BEATING HEART OF SCOTLAND

Sorry, folks, my usual cheerful upbeat blathering is temporarily on hold. It will return, probably in a few days, because I really don't want to be part of anyone's gloom-scrolling, but, erm, you understand.

At present, my feed is full of funeral notices about good and talented people. People with whom I might have gotten along, with whom you and I would have had a lot in common.

As well as offensive crap from Glasgow Celtics fans. All of whom seem to be terrorist supporters and psychopaths. It's probably all that inbreeding.

It's currently about fifty degrees Fahrenheit in Glasgow right now, chance of rain.

In 1990 Glasgow was designated European capital of Culture for the year, which may have been a mistake. Urdu and Arabic are widely spoken, along with a dialect of English which is unintelligible, and spreading syphilis is a popular past-time there. Culinarily, it boasts nearly as many Golden Arches as London, because cooking is a skill held in high regard by Scots. Most natives smell profoundly of mildew besides their remarkable body odour. So it's worth visiting, provided you've had your shots and bring along iodine tablets for the tap water.

Really, I cannot speak highly enough about Glasgow.

It's a sister city of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

They have a lot in common.



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