Tuesday, June 20, 2017

WARMLY DISINVITING!

For the benefit of people living in the more temperate parts of the world (Schiermonnikoog, for instance), please be aware of the current heatwave.
In much of Holland and Belgium, the temperature will be eighty six degrees Fahrenheit or above today and tomorrow. That's thirty degrees Celsius.
Here in California things are even warmer and more fraught than that.
Novato may go up to ninety (32°C). Fresno over a hundred (38°C).

In Phoenix (Arizona) it will top one hundred and twenty (49°C).

In San Francisco it is sixty five degrees (18⅓°C) right now.
Again, that's 65°F / 18⅓°C.


PLEASE DON'T COME HERE!

There's not enough coolness here for everybody. If you all head to San Francisco, that will cause the temperature to rise, kinda like a cattle barn with all those steaming beefy bodies, and we will swelter.
Besides, we don't really like you.
Don't suck up our cool.

Please go to Phoenix and maybe achieve something.


It is presently 62°F / 17°C in Schiermonnikoog (Skiermûntseach). That's positively frigid. All of you monkeys wouldn't like it. You'd think you were freezing, and there is no way you could possibly enjoy the lovely dunes, the beaches, the half a dozen or so frituurs, plus herring shops, eetcafes, and bar-restaurants serving the bevande più belle in Schiermonnikoog.
There's even a place where you can get pizza!


If you folks decide to wander around in little bikinis because it's so warm, we will gladly view the videos on the internet, and forward the best ones to whoever we know in Schiermonnikoog, where it's insufferably cold.

I hear their seasons are the reverse of ours.



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