At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Monday, June 12, 2017


It struck me today that many people around me need remedial English. Clearly they are not dealing with a full deck of cards, linguistically speaking, and often benefit from translation / explication. And it is very irritating when people do not understand things which are clear and simple.
But I think I can help in some fashion.

These are the terms you NEED to know:

Milk Tea, Hong Kong Style Milk Tea: a strong cuppa with a globble of sweetened condensed milk added, very re-energizing right around mid-afternoon to early evening (tea time). Excellent with a snackipoo, but also good with breakfast. Spam or luncheon meat, fried eggs, rice, and a generous (厚啲) squirt of hot sauce.

Dim sum: very civilized, is what. You can now even find them in Europe; there's a fine dim sum restaurant in Eindhoven on the Grote Markt, right where Tong Ah used to be.

Young Lady: someone younger than myself, between teenage years and late thirties.

Young Woman: a young lady.

Young Man: a person of whom I disapprove.

Young Gentleman: what some of the more polite stuffed animals call me.

Womany Thing: my apartment mate.

Old Geezer: a man older than me.

Dirty Old Man: an old geezer dating someone young enough to be his daughter. Not me, I am not dating anyone at present.

Dessicated Old Fossil: not me.

Head Sheep: a roomie (stuffed animal) who is delusional about his own abilities.

Head Roomie: also known as 'the senior teddy bear', chief executive and head of government, whom you will respect. She is very wise.

She-sheep: the assistant head roomie, who is very perspicacious, and probably the nicest person in this apartment.

Dingo: someone who is not up to my high standards.

Legislative Council: the unicameral parliament, part of the government along with the chief executive and influential party members in an unofficial capacity who speak for Peking. Please don't ask too many questions.

Den Haag, 's Gravenhage: the third largest city, and seat of the parliament of the herring-eaters.

Herring: indisputably the best thing on the planet.

Washington: a dull morass in North America somewhere back east.

London: a very nice swamp in England. Sometimes they eat curry there.

English Cooking: bizarre and inedible. Spackle.

Boiled Baby: a spotted dick without spots.

Treacle Dowdy: a broken-crusted cooked fruit pudding with syrup.

Scone: a type of beaten biscuit.

Baked Portuguese Chicken Rice: a dish invented in Hong Kong before the war, consisting of a layer of egg-fried rice in a casserole, with chicken and potato chunks on top, covered with a very mild coconut curry sauce, sprinkled with cheese and heated under the broiler. Sometimes there are also pieces of green bell pepper in it, and it may be garnished with coconut shreds. Usually available at a chachanteng. It would be even better with one or two rashers of crispy greasy bacon, and someone to share it.
Perhaps with a side oyster sauce stalky brassica.
And a cup of milk tea each.

There are other terms it would probably be useful for you to know (many having to do with pipes and tobacco), but these are the basics.

Kindly memorize them.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older