At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, June 06, 2017


A conversation about terrorism in Europe, and the centrality of the Israel-Palestine conflict to absolutely everything in this world, including Doctor Who, The Grateful Dead, Wifi speeds, and that stoners are the root of all that is good and sweet and civilized, finally brought up the Spam Fritter.

Because nothing is more British than the Spam Fritter.

It's what the world needs right now.

With a cup of tea.

[From: THE SPAM® CAFE (official Spam® website).]

1 x 340g can SPAM® Chopped Pork and Ham
150g x plain flour
225ml x cold water
oil for frying

Cut SPAM® Chopped Pork into six thick slices.
Put the flour into a mixing bowl and gradually add the cold water and whisk until the mixture is fully blended and smooth. It should be quite a thick coating batter.
Heat the oil in a large frying pan.
Dip each slice of SPAM® Chopped Pork and Ham into the batter, drain off excess and place in the hot oil.
When golden brown, drain on kitchen paper.
Serve with chips and peas.

[150 grammes of flour equals one cup, 225 millilitres of water is slightly less than a cup.]

Sadiq Khan likes it. Hillary Clinton likes it. Vladimir Putin grew up on it. World leaders and cultural trend setters almost without exception have a fondness for Spam Fritter. Rock stars, politicians, Bogie Yaalon, and the entire parliamentary delegation of Meretz: Issawi Frej, Zehava Gal-On, Ilan Gilon, Michal Rozin, and Tamar Zandberg. Paul Ryan, Mitch McConnell, Orrin Hatch, and unofficial mascot of the Republican Party Ted Nugent!
It is staggeringly popular in both Tehran and Kiryat Arba.

In Mea Shearim, upon dark-fall on Saturdays, hordes of Haredi teenagers swarm the street-stands set up by enterprising Palestinian stonethrowers to feast upon Spam Fritters, served à la juive with a sweet-mayo glaze or dip, ei mit zwiebel on the side, and red horseradish. Which is altogether similar to Belgium, where it is accompanied by friet met mayonnaise, Tierenteyn mustard, and expensive sambals from Holland. The entire world LOVES the Spam Fritter, than which there is positively naught better.

Except, maybe, Chicken Tikka Masala.
But that's for later at night.
After pubs close.

The only folks who don't like it are Donald Trump, Benjamin Netanyahu, and Recep Tayyip Erdoğan. But they're dicks anyway, schmendricky, the kind of people who would put ketchup on steak.

Even Kim Jong-un eats it!

Jonathan said: "I don't even know what a spam fritter is."
Heavens! I was aghast.

Upscale version are made with panko crumbs.
Served with Sriracha & lime aioli.
Spam is like gefilte fish.
Only more so.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


  • At 8:45 PM, Anonymous Iggety Wiggety said…

    Spam is soulfood.


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