YOUR CAT WEARS ARMY BOOTS!

The existence of the internet has made it possible for many more people to be as crazy as they want to be. One example of that is the flood of conspiracy nonsense webpages -- mostly written by and for inbred hicks related to themselves several different ways -- one is by the wealth of cat-related sites. Inbred hicks love their guns and hate blacks.
Everyone else worships kitty-cats.
Vastly different symptoms.
Same disease.


你對我的小貓無禮！


Perhaps the craziest use of the internet is for breaking up. Bobo, in Australia, sent his girlfriend a message that ran as follows:

1. You refuse to update your relationship status on Facebook
2. You won't include me in things like the wedding this weekend. I should have been the one to escort you
3. You are rude to my cat and that makes me feel uncomfortable
4. You do not share your time equally and by now your boyfriend should be taking priority
5. Your swearing is very unladylike
6. You won't disclose how many sexual partners you have had which makes me think it is upwards of 3 and anything more than that is unacceptable.

Of course this was a break-up message. Reason number three ("you are rude to my cat") was the clincher. Anyone who is rude to cats is probably a right bastard, and, whatever their true gender, extremely unladylike. Such a person is capable of almost anything, including not updating their relationship status on Facebook.

"Nei deui ngoh-dik siu-maau mou lai!"

Being rude to cats is a sin worse than buggery.

He was right to break up with her.

I would do the same.


There is no cat in my life, in case you were wondering. Nor have I had reason to update my relationship status on Facebook in all of four and a half rather pissy years. I doubt that those two things are connected.
They are probably neither equal in scope, nor cause and effect.
Never-the-less I feel strongly about such matters.

Always be polite to cats.


AFTERWORD

Why did I reproduce the phrase "you are rude to my cat" in Chinese? Because I am late to the party. I didn't find out about this internet meme until I read about it on a Hong Kong news website. The phrase "nei deui ngoh-dik siu maau mou lai" makes me giggle.
It sounds funnier in Chinese.

PS.: The usage of the word 'buggery' as a comparative sin in the text above is purely for effect. The word has a host of connotations, and is often automatically associated with Australia for some reason. It seemed right here. No negative judgment whatsoever was meant, and I apologize if any natives of Australia, or British sailors, felt offended.
Sorry. There isn't anything wrong with that.
I assume it's consensual?
So sorry.



I actually like the word "buggery".
It is so buggery evocative!
Oh buggery yes.



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