Tuesday, December 23, 2014

OUR NEW GOLDEN CITY

The internet, I used to say, exists for just three things: recipes, cute kitten pictures, and filth. But I am wrong. There's fourth category. Insane and paranoid ramblings from people so far in the bush that their nearest intellectual equal is scrub cactus.
As part of the season, and under the rubric of 'spreading joy', here's a discussion composed of chery-picked quotes, which I refuse to attribute to anyone, as they should not be held against the under-medicated.

It could very well be an interior monologue for many.


OBAMA...

Please imagine the following as a simple conversation between two gentlemen from Texas. Fine, upstanding salt-of-the-earth types.
Informed voters.

"Obama is a Muslim liar. He lied about Benghazi, he lied about "you can keep your doctor", he lied about the IRS..."

"Obama is no Muslim. He's a Zionist CorpoRat Fascist or actually he's a well paid Puppet of the Zionist CorpoRat Fascists!"

"Coming from a clueless, snivelling Obama Ass-Kisser that's pretty funny!"

"One person with a viewpoint slightly skewed from another person can come up with a completely different conclusion based on those facts and figures."

"I just want you libs to know just how much I hate you and your leftist bullshit. If you had any guts you'd meet me face to face but why anyone would fight for this miserable country I don't know. If I were a young man I would say f*ck this country and sponge off the working man."

"I rather enjoy being in a nation considered by many to be the heir to all of western civilization."

"Your philosophy is so empty I actually pity you for the shriveled, miniscule soul you might have. You will die crying for help that will never come."

"Obama's ISIS War Is Illegal. The president is subverting the Constitution"

"What kind of ridiculous statement is this?! IT doesn't matter if a person is Conservative or not! This has nothing to do with voting for whoever!"

"Then you must hate public roads, transportation, schools, water systems, the police, and public parks because those are products of a certain level of socialism."

"Might have had Nixon and Vietnam - But Obama has completely f*cked up the world!"

"The one thing you right wingers seem to share is an inability to use correct English joined with a prediection for obscenity."

"Is the viagra working for you?"

"Why the overt racism? Homophobia? Jealous? Afraid? You should be. You show up on my street and I'll beat you to do death with your own ignorance which is big enough to be a deadly weapon. Conservatives should be neutered so their selfish bullshit dies with them rather than getting passed along."

"Yeah, like PBS isn't a Progladyke's paradise. Either way, whether it was the Chinese, the Khmer or the VC, '60's hippies were responsible for genocide in S.E. Asia."

"Your God wants all white men to join US marine forces to fight for democracy. You can't escape from that responsibility."

"A dee dee, motherhole, a dee dee!"

And so on.


BAD FISH, BAD FISH!

The remarks above were what I found by looking up Joe Cocker, who passed away recently. No, these weren't in any comment string related to that subject.

They are, however, very appropriate to the season.

A calendric frenzy is upon us.

We're nuts.


AFTERWORD

The title of this post paraphrases the term "goldene medine", as a snide comment, about what a wonderful place the United States is.
Our country is filled with amazing stuff.
And batsh*t people.
Texas.



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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

פֿאָרװאָס האַסטו יבערזעצט מדינה אַלס שטאָט? פֿאָרװאָס נישט אַלס לאַנד?

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