JACKKNIFE READY RUBBED -- GUESTPOST BY A HEDGEHOG

Sometimes I have to admit that my own tobacco blathering is not the be all and end all of tobacco blathering. There are other blatherskytes who blather better than I blather. Blast it. Damned geniuses.
By which I mean that they are more inspired.
Perhaps a lot crazier too.
Lyrical.


AN INCITEMENT TO EXTREME MANLINESS
Review of G. L. Pease's JackKnife Ready Rubbed
By a Hedgehog.

[Read the entire essay here: tobaccoreviews.com -- review74831. ]

Suddenly all I want to do is chug a couple of handles of Wild Turkey, squeeze off some rounds, club some seal babies, harpoon something endangered, bomb Hanoi, crank up the George Thorogood, copter-hunt some mastadons, scarf a T-bone, litter, bench-press my HumVee, call in some air-strikes and generally get some. That's what a kiloton of Kentucky Dark Fired can do for a guy.

Esthetes and other un-American elements have suggested that there there's some bright-leaf in here, and maybe some sweet Virginias. If there are, I don't want to know about it. I like my tobacco as subtle as a thermobaric charge; this hits the spot and leaves a smoking hole.

Pipe Used: Generally I smoke this with my bare hands.

Age When Smoked: Jail bait.


[End cite.]


Well now. Is it the tobacco, or the smoker?

Truth is that Greg Pease's JackKnife is a darn fine product.

If seal babies smoked this, they'd grow up strong enough to beat the crap out of Canadian seal hunters. Hedgehogs too.
Normally hedgehogs are hard to handle.

Fumigate their nest with JackKnife smoke and they'll be gentle enough that you can harvest their honey easily. Or is that Kodiak bears I'm thinking of?

I likewise smoke JackKnife with my bare hands. From my beard to my pelvis is a dense mass of barbed wire. Don't hug me, I bite.

I do not like to be wipped.



APPENDIX

For reference purposes, my own review here: JackKnife Plug.
JackKnife's predecessor: Triple Play.
Other Pease's: Capsule Reviews.

And, because I can: Pipesmoking Jailbait.

Yes, this is an opportunistic attempt to ride on some other writer's coat tails, rather than composing anything original. But I credited the source, and provided links, so it's "win-win" as far as I'm concerned.

TOBACCO INDEX


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