Saturday, December 20, 2014

WELL PLAYED SIR!

It turns out that some schools have peculiar traditions. Schools such as King's College and other polytechnics in Great Britain, where social club and fraternity initiations frequently involve faeces, genitalia, and outright homosexual debauchery. All of which are calculated to make you a mannish and chappish sort of lad.
You always knew the British were peculiar.
You just didn't know how much.


BUT THERE IS HOPE!

Like the Rugby club at the London School of Economics, this blogger also disapproves of group activities that involve faeces, genitalia, and outright homosexual debauchery.

I've always believed that anything involving faeces and genitalia should be more private; just one for the first, two for the second. And as regards homosexual debauchery, I have not considered the matter. But likely it too should only involve one person, or at most two.
Not outright, but discreet.

My own debauchery has been neither homosexual nor unnecessarily pluralistic. As well as hypothetical. I cannot even claim that I practise a lot when I'm alone.



From a leaflet handed out by the London School of Economics Rugby Club during Freshman Week:

On initiation ceremonies: 'We do not tolerate Poly activities that involve faeces, genitalia, and outright homosexual debauchery'.

On the slang term 'gary': 'Ancient terminology of contentious origins meaning to chat up a trollop. Eg. "I'm putting in the gary groundwork with this netball slag".'

On Wednesday nights: 'See off a whole jug of vodka Red Bull, get accustomed to the bouncers' hospitality, and do your utmost to pull a sloppy bird'.

On a committee member: 'He is the fresher who manags [sic] to embody everything the club holds dear: debauchy [sic], hedonism and misogyny'.

On the Three Tuns pub: 'The beer is cheap and the barmaids are often quite tasty. Get to know them in order to ensure rapid service'.

On the Zoo Bar in Leicester Square: 'Nowhere in the world can so many mingers look so appealing. The jury is still out, however, regarding whether this phenomenon is caused by a strange trick of the light or the beer drank post-match.'

On 'hockey, netball and rugby birds': 'Beast-like women who play sport so they can come out with us on Wednesdays and don't let them tell you otherwise'.

On King's College London: 'Strand Polytechnic... Quite simply put they are scum and they will all work for us one day'.


[SOURCE: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2781919/Top-London-university-caught-new-sexism-row-freshers-week-leaflets-branded-women-slags-trollops-crumpets.html.]


A few sensitive souls unfortunately took offense at the reading material, and the LSE Rugby Club has been suspended for a year.

QUOTE: "The rugby club has since apologised for the leaflet, which also branded female rugby players as "beast-like" and said that "homosexual debauchery" would not be tolerated at social events."


[SOURCE: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/11147689/LSE-rugby-club-banned-after-describing-women-as-mingers-and-trollops.html.]


All of this is rather a pity, as Rugby is the thinking man's alternative to American Football. For one thing, it is FAR more butchly homo-erotic, for another the concept of a glowing young rugby player insensate on too much vodka and completely limp in consequence is delicious.

Mmm, hot sweaty man-flesh!

So ripe for debauching!

As a concept, it sounds intellectually thrilling, so I can understand the temptation, though if I were a woman, I should almost certainly abstain. While encouraging bestial British lassies to go right ahead.


Not quite my style, but then if I were a youngish female person, most likely I would resemble your maidenly aunt. Somewhat short and shy, and though quite filthy-minded not very social. With glasses, and restrained habits. Always the perfect lady in my Lula Lu.

I would want the thrill of reading about it afterwards.

Rather than having any personal involvement.

Sometimes text is better than life.

Especially beastly stuff.


In any case, I am delighted that British students are well-informed about debauchery. I had always considered them to be rather bland little creatures, all pink and innocent, and dreadfully inexperienced.
Tea, crumpets, and smoking a pipe by the fire.

Bravo, English scholarly types, bravo.

The brave depraved.



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