Wednesday, January 18, 2023


The internet can be relied on for many things. Mis-information, news, the latest Trumpian outrage, whatever weird cannibalistic fantasies Texan politicians have, and oil-change advice. Plus much modern medicine.
A doctor on my Facebook feed forwards a valuable word of advice:
Please. Do. Not. Use. Q-Tips. To. Clean. Your. Ears. Thank. You.
--Your Tympanic Membranes

Please do not use Q-tips to clean your ears!

From personal experience, do not use a bent pipe cleaner. You'll end up in ER, waiting for hours, while EVERY medical student for miles around comes into your room, asks politely "are you the idiot with a bent pipecleaner stuck in your ear?", then looks at the side of your head and states (with appropriate gravitas), "when I was in med school they told me to never stick anything smaller than my elbow in there". It took half a day for them to finally locate the right tray of tools and twiggity things to remove it. But at least my girlfriend at the time can't say I wasn't exciting.
She's still a very good friend. But we aren't romantically involved anymore. The affair with the pipe cleaners had nothing to do with it. And I paid her back for the taxi ride to the hospital.

Perhaps what we can all learn from this is don't clean your ears. Go ahead, let them get grungy from everything out there on the street. Motor oil, open jars of ink, cigarette butts, discarded pizza scraps..... let the little rascals run free.

A friend once had cheese stuck in his ear.
He really likes cheese.

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