Years ago he moved to Sweden because of a pretty little Swedish girl. Today he is briefly back in the land of his birth, enjoying our fine climate while risking his life in a society with no adequate medical system. But he's going back to Sweden soon. And surely I can understand?
Well, actually, no.
Swedes are decent people and all that, but that climate, and the dang trolls, are enough to prevent me from ever moving there. And, as far as I know, Swedish girls are a lot like Dutch girls, except with drippy Abbaesque personalities.
And then there's what they do to herring.
Which is absolutely barbaric.
Surströmming.
No amount of socialized medicine is enough to make a man put up with Abba and rotten fish. Or köttbullar on Knäckebröd. Every single day.
The only two places in Europe with less inspiring food are Iceland and Ireland.
Iceland has fermented shark, conveniently pre-vomited.
Ireland has Spice Burgers.
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