Sunday, November 05, 2017

THE PERFECT TWENTY

Many social media sites ask pushy questions in an attempt to figure out their audience and sell the data to advertisers. Recently, memes have invited people to answer similar queries, and post their results.

Seeing as this blog is operating under a pseudonym, and many comments are advertising spam that gets deleted without ever being shown anyway, this is a perfect place to post my own personal data.
Good luck marketing to me.

I took a list from a friend's Facebook post, and added a few questions.


How old are you?
Fifty eight, and in all honesty I never really expected to reach this age, and thought I would be young forever. I am rather disappointed in reality, and determined to resist.
Single or taken?
Single, not pursuing anybody, and ambivalent about that.
Favourite colour?
Cerulean blue, burnt umber, plus sienna and ochre, the canary yellows of Cohiba cigar tubes and Erinmore flake tins from years ago, warm golden oranges, deep pinks with a touch of blue, and several different types of green such as can be found in forests in the temperate zones.
Want kids?
Well, sort of.
If so how many?
Can I get back to you on that?
Snapchat?
What?
Twitter?:
Good lord no. Twitter is for idiots.
Dating site?
Everybody there is looking for someone with whom to hike the Amazon or slide down Annapurna. Do I look the type?
Zodiac sign?
Libra. Does anyone besides a complete idiot really believe that the zodiac signs mean bugger-all, other than dividing all of humanity AND the animal world into twelve groups? This is ridiculous, arbitrary, and beyond logic.
It is, furthermore, a dumb-ass new-age attempt to impose some kind of magical order, and see deep mystical meaning where there is none.
Don't tell me about your pets and their astrological signs.
Aquarian chihuahuas. Think about that.
Dippity cottonwool.
Last drink?
Hot, caffeinated, and bitter.
Makeup or not?
I do not.
Hello Kitty?
Emphatically yes. Did I ever mention my Hello Kitty Backpack, of a size suitable for several pipes, and tins of tobacco?
Cats or dogs?
I am fond of dogs, but I admire cats.
Evil or good?
Near daemonic, okay?
Favourite sport?
Watching paint dry.
Favourite food?
Varies, though at the moment it includes rice porridge, bacon, Italian sausages, bitter melon, baked Portuguese chicken rice, flaky charsiu turnovers, fried noodles, and goat curry. Because the last Halal butcher near me closed down I haven't cooked goat curry in a long time.
Maybe I should go get some goat.
Favourite animal?
Ducks. They can be quite delicious.
Weird?
I am extremely normal.
Do you have haters?
Probably.
Funny or nah?
No.


Other details are that I live near the Chinatown - Northbeach part of the city, smoke a pipe, and use hot sauce often. And that there are many stuffed animals.

Feel free to create your own list of intrusive questions and post results in the comments. There are no wrong answers, only wrong people.




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