SMEARING PEACH ICE CREAM ALL OVER YOUR FINE BODY

Actually, peach ice cream isn't that great. It always tastes too thin, no matter how much peach flavour they add, or how strong the peach essence.

For purposes of common perversion, the experts recommend chocolate. Dark chocolate.
The problem is that it tends to leave rather disconcerting traces.

Of course, you COULD make your own ice cream of delicious degeneracy, using clear crème de cacao. It wouldn't have any colour other than delicious white.
A bucket of that would, if licked avidly, knock you out cold.
Not what the other party wanted at all.

Alcohol also interferes with sexual function, and there's the added risk that she'll leave, bored out her mind after you've passed out from all the sugar and booze.
Your parents will come home from the casino where they were celebrating their anniversary, and discover their one and only prince and heir drunk out of his gourd and naked on the dining room table, covered in sticky white goo.


Did I mention that she dumped the rest of the bucket over your naked body?

I should have.

That was right before she tied you up with your dad's Italian silk ties.

And drew little happy faces all over you with your mom's lipstick.



You really know how to make an impression, don't you?

It will take a while before your parents erase that image from their minds.

Kiss your chance of getting a new sports car for your birthday goodbye.


On second thought, you should have stuck with the peach gelato.
It's fun fishing little chunks of frozen fruit out of the crevices.
She'll squeal furiously either way.


==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================