Monday, April 25, 2011

DOING ROMAN THINGS TO HORSES!

One of today's search criteria was truly flabbergasting - can't even really believe it, despite having looked at it for several minutes.

"ANIMAL SEX WITH HORSES IN AMSTERDAM"

Good freaking lord. Sometimes I worry about my chance-met readers.
Who goes onto the internet looking for sex with horses?
Perhaps a Portuguese person?

It's not that long ago that an aged hinterland peasant in Portugal, wearing high heels and a bathrobe, was surprised by the farmer who owned the donkey he was carnally knowing, and whacked.
Dead at retirement age in a muddy field, wearing a flower print and harlot heels.


So it's a possibility. We know that strange things happen in Portugal.

Alternatives are of course the adventurous travelers who have heard that there is a loophole in Dutch law that permits congress with animals provided the animal shows no evidence of discomfort.

Cows, sheep, horses, and pigs might not even notice. Hamsters, terriers, chickens and small pets - right out. Avoid cats at all costs. They scratch.
Or so I've heard.

Again, who in their right mind, and what kind of person?!?
Even on Dutch news-sites, readers tend towards aghastion when confronted with such things. So I have to think it's someone who speaks English, probably as a second language, and conceivably from some horrid part of the world.

Probably NOT somewhere that penguins inhabit. Firstly, penguins have a positive influence, quite UN-conducive to something so nasty as carnal knowledge of equines.
Secondly, a true penguin lover would search the internet for fish - sardines, herrings, sprat, and baby smelt. One gets a lot further with a penguin, of either gender, if one offers a tasteful bouquet. Feathers will ruffle favourably.
Especially with a boutonniere of shrimp or small crustaceans.

Horses, on the other hand.........

There's absolutely NO courting a horse. Remarkably stupid animals.
Suitable for food, but that's about it.


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4 comments:

Anonymous said...

This matbe TMI but in my little town (Mayberry RFD)there is a guy who got arrested for bonking a hourse...TWICE! Charming area.

Kevin

The back of the hill said...

In some parts of the world, the horse would be stoned for adultery.
She led him on, you see.

Flicka said...

Penguins? Feh!

Anonymous said...

Yikes! I thought you were spell checking. Auto correct has made me lazy.

Kevin

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