Monday, April 25, 2011

FOOD IN DENMARK

One of my colleagues has a Danish obsession. This in addition to his deep knowledge of drip and ooze.
No, I do not know if there is an overlap there – the effluvia are probably quite separated in his mind from other stuff.
The Danish things are film, furniture and aebleskivers.
Drip and Ooze may be his lawyers: Drip & Ooze, LLC.
Or his doctors. Probably on the health plan.
Either way, I do not wish to know.

Aebleskivers, contrary to what you might think, are not like leprechauns. Perhaps you imagined them as ugly, small and gnomish, wearing silly costumes and little horned helmets?

Sorry to disappoint you - those are still leprechauns.
You can tell by the bad clothing choices.

[See previous mention of all things Irish here: nasty sickening spuds.]


EDIBLE YET VIKINGISH, MIRABILE DICTU!

Aebleskiver: literally, apple slice or apple disk (in Dutch it would be "appel schyf").
But contrary to what the name suggests, it is actually halfway between a poffertje and an appel beignet ("appel flap").

A poffertje is a small puffed up pancake made in a special pan with deep indentations, delicious hot with powdered sugar. An appel beignet is a like an airy donut without a hole - also yummy with powdered sugar. Both are midwinter type offerings, in the Netherlands available from mobile stands outside train stations or in the centre of town.

I suspect that in Denmark such things are more often made at home, though. Fritter-vans need a certain population density to thrive, and the Benelux is rather crowded.

The Danish pan has bigger indents than the Dutch pan. Conceivably Danes have heartier appetites.

All three of these items are similar to sfganiot and bemuelos.


HOT FAT, STARCH, AND MAYONNAISE

Yes, I too was surprised to find that Danes know how to cook!
Problem was, I kept confusing them with Norwegians - you know, the people who eat dishes that are either explosive or decomposed.
Many of which are based on rancid blubber, or dried fish with a texture like a desiccated cricket bat. Norwegians are a group that has surprisingly little in common with furniture assemblers.
And apparently Norse have nothing at all in common with Danes.

The Danes, who, underneath their civilized uber-Europaische veneer, are still the same homicidal maniacs they were a thousand years ago, when they burst out of their frigid homeland to savagely lay waste the Christian lands, enslaving whole populations, raping children and horses, robbing monasteries, and setting fire to shrubberies.
Barely disguised barbarians, illiterate and excessively hairy!
Brutal bloodthirsty psychopaths, coarse, degenerate, and covered in elk grease.

Oh wait, that's the Norwegians again. Sorry.


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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

You are a racist.

The back of the hill said...

Bite me.

Tzipporah said...

Well, at least you said nothing about Swedes. :)

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