Friday, April 15, 2011


The other day, my roommate Savage Kitten was gloating over the white hairs she had pulled out.
White hairs will show up a bit more on her head than on mine, and like many women she is far more concerned about her appearance than she has any reason to be.
She looks delicious, always has.
But she attends to details - stray whites get yanked.

Which is why we have any number of tweezers in the house.
We do not share a bed, but we share the tweezers.
We have tweezers in common.
Several of them.

We share a number of things: the television room, the kitchen - pots, pans, plates, cutlery, and implements - the hallway, and the bathroom.

We do NOT share the roomies. That being the small stuffed entities such as the sock-sheep, the violent piglet, the one-legged monkey, the froad, and the chief roomie (ms. Bruin), otherwise known as 'The Senior Teddybear'.

She only has one teddy bear, I have three.

The first one I found one night sitting all by himself on a bench at a bus-stop for a line that stopped running after seven in the evening. So I took him home.
The second one appeared one day and never left.
The third bear was patiently waiting outside a local drugstore after closing time.
Long after closing time.

All my teddy bears have 'issues'.

Actually, most of my little furry roommates are problematic.
I can't figure it out.
Why are hers sane, and mine unbalanced?
And how come the nuts are in my room?

So yes, we do NOT share the roomies. She has hers, I have mine.
She channels for ALL of them, they speak with her voices.
The other day one of them jabbed me with the tweezers.
Then scurried off giggling.

I suppose I should've worried when I saw the little miscreant with the tweezers.
None of the little sh*tdisturbers have white hair.
Riotous behaviour - it keeps them young.
They're thugs, I tell you.
Short fuzzy thugs.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Raoul Duke said...

"Order some golf shoes" I whispered. "Otherwise, we'll never get out of this place alive."

Anonymous said...

It's a f*cking reptile zoo, and someone's feeding them alcohol. It won't be long now before they slaughter us! Look at that bunch over there. Jezus!

Barstow said...

I cannot stop here, this is bat country!

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