Saturday, April 23, 2011


Catchy title, no? I fully expect a mob of perverts to descend upon this blog.
If they're looking for tips, or juicy material for their own fetishes, they may be disappointed.
And perhaps "sexual fantasies" is a bit overblown. More like 'fond imaginings'.
About which I'm as close to an expert as a non-Cantonese non-female is ever likely to become.

Many Cantonese girls dream about someone rather like Lau Tak-wah (劉德華). Andy Lau (his English name) in his younger years was dashingly foxy, though he often spoiled the effect by being smirkingly appreciative of his own good looks. More so on stage than in his movies.
He's still a very handsome man, and while I am not enamoured of his music, I've always immensely enjoyed his acting. Obviously NOT in the same way that his screaming girlie groupies did, nor in the clenching thighs firmly together fashion of young ladies perspiring in the back of the cinema. He hails from Tai Po, a place in the northeastern part of the New Territories.


Part of the appeal of Mr. Lau is the dangerous aura he radiates - the sense that he'll woo you, sweep you off your feet, passionately enjoy every inch of your innocent young body, and then dump you when the cops are hot on his tail for a jewelry heist.

Okay, that's not my fantasy, but it's the type of rosy peach-dream that many young girls engage in.

Personally, I've always thought that in his best roles he had the loveable quirkiness and emotive appeal of Kermit The Frog - the bemused scrunch to the face, and the same flippery gestures - but that, too, is a good thing.
Kermit has pizzazz.

That's one hella sexy frog.

For some reason the edge of danger is a constant in the erotic fantasies of women.
San Francisco Cantonese girls are not unusual in that regard; at one point the entire female student body of Lowell High School was obsessed with vampires - handsome, mysterious, elegant, and above all, threatening.
Vampires are quite romantic, unlike werewolves or zombies.

Anybody who imagines herself ravished by a zombie probably has issues.

Not sure about werewolves, though. I would've thought that the type had absolutely NO appeal, but I've seen enough young bi-racial couples to indicate that werewolves may also figure into the young Cantonese maiden's sensual gestalt.
Either that or she found someone as whitey-white as she could possibly get, perhaps to shock her mom.
Maybe it's his animal appearance - If you're going to cross boundaries, might as well go whole hog. It doesn't account for the tattoos, but it does explain the hairy arms and simian facial characteristics. A dull brute, stupid and bland, but with strength and aroma, like a sweaty beast.

Really should've fallen for the amphibian, girl.

Speaking of vampires, a woman with whom I used to be involved (Savage Kitten) always found Geraint Wyn Davies to be one hot hunk. Particularly in the series 'Forever Knight', in which he plays a vampire on the Toronto Police Force.
For years I would torment the poor girl whenever I whispered "Geraint Wyn Davies, Nick Knight, oooooh, Geraint........ Wyn........ DAVIES!". She'd squeal in agony, and nearly faint. It was very amusing.
In retrospect, maybe it wasn't agony. I'll have to think about it.

She's always had a thing for romantic vampires.


She also has a thing for Kermit The Frog.

Not sure if other sweet little Cantonese-American girls feel the same way.
If they do, they're probably hitting replay like topsy on that youtube, with moist and trembling fingers.

"Ooooh, so nice and green!"

Girls, I am lean and vulpine like Andy Lau, and charming like Kermit the Frog. Think about it.


Some Cantonese Girls have fantasies that involve either Rhett Butler or Scarlett O'Hara. The other men in Gone With The Wind have no appeal, and seem rather drippy, but Rhett is manly and dashing.
What makes Rhett desirable is the combination of mystery, rakishness, and self-confidence.
He is dangerous because of these characteristics, and that risky quality makes him magnetic.
Even so headstrong and self-centered a woman as Scarlett feels drawn to him.

Plus he wears clothes well. That, too, is immensely attractive in a man.
Angularity, posture, a fine figure.
Very few girls are ever attracted to Winston Churchill or Alfred Hitchcock. But suave erect men, like the James Bond actors (provided that everyone who is NOT Sean Connery just shuts up - talking isn't what you want them for), or Humphrey Bogart, or even Paul Newman; theses are well nigh irresistible.
Meltingly so.

Vampires. Frogs. Dark and dangerous heroes.
They're everything girls dream about.
Real men.

========================================================================== NOTE: Young ladies who feel strongly attracted to the handsome frog are invited to contact me: LETTER BOX. We can spend a romantic evening together - just you, me, a bottle of champagne, and Kermit in a Muppet movie. Your choice. ==========================================================================


Anonymous said...


THAT's the most amusing obscene proposition I have seen! You really think some wishful young thing is going to take the bait?

The back of the hill said...

You really think some wishful young thing is going to take the bait?

No, not really. But wouldn't it be wonderful if one did?

Anonymous said...

Keep dreaming, white frog.

The back of the hill said...

"Keep dreaming, white frog."

And a giant suggestive ‘ribbit’ to you!
Frogs have long quick tongues.
Remember that.

The back of the hill said...

ME: mature and snarky, kinda foxy looking.
YOU: stubborn, intelligent, feisty.

A height difference is important.
I am five foot eight and a half.
And I like nuzzling foreheads.


Now, please tell me more about yourself. And what attracts you to frogs.

Anonymous said...

Yes yes, I very much agree with you, they do like "suave erect men". You Sir are wise beyond your years. And to that end I have resolved to remain suave & erect at all times. Good show old man.


Anonymous said...

Man that frog is HOT!

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