TEENAGE PIPE SMOKERS
Pipe-smokers are born, not made.
Teenage pipe-smokers are the offspring of a male and a female pipe-smoker who met over a decade ago in the Sargasso Sea, and mingled his tarry Latakia with her sensuous matured Virginia......
No wait, it was like this. She entered a tobacco repository which he had recently vacated..........
PIPE SMOKING FETISH
I don't blame you if you don't believe either of those two versions of the pipe-smoker reproductive process.
My mother wasn't a pipe-smoker, ever.
My dad used to smoke pipes but had switched to cigarettes years before I took up the habit.
I became a pipe-smoker almost entirely by accident. There was a very elegant pipe in the étalage of the tabaks-magazijn next to Priem's bookstore which appealed to me.
After several weeks of gazing fondly I bought it.
It wasn't until months later that I finally purchased something to put into it.
Teenage pipe-smokers probably experience a similar progression: object lust - occasional use - growing enjoyment - enduring love.
One woman I knew many years ago started off fondling one of her father's pipes.
Eventually she finished a tin of St. Bruno flake, then bought another tin. And another pipe. Several months later she was on her fifth tin and had a third pipe.
All of this before she was eighteen years old.
Most teenagers who become pipe-smokers do so as a solitary and contemplative peccadillant. Parents almost always disapprove of their children smoking, and many adults assume that a juvenile puffing on a pipe is being 'artistic' or putting on airs.
We're simply being sensualists.
I suppose that's even more disturbing?
You know, there's a reason why cigar and pipe ads feature beautiful photos, often of zesty people in the prime of their lives. It's esthetics.
The smoker of fine tobacco appreciates beauty and depravity in equal measure. For many women, alas, it remains an intellectual fantasy. While the teenage boy will brazen it out, the teenage maiden will hesitate about displaying her predilections so provocatively.
A very great pity!
Nothing says "please go away, I'm pre-occupied" (or "shog off, you horrid pervert") as eloquently as a disparaging puff of smoke and the intense enjoyment of a long slow toast while ignoring extraneous stimuli.
More young ladies should smoke pipes.
The world would be a better place if they did.
[PARENTS, PAY ATTENTION! Pipe smoking is conducive to good clean living, and reduces onanism, gout, ADD, pimples, extravagant degeneracy, inattention to academic subjects, and inappropriate association with non-Chinese teenagers of either gender! I have experience in these matters. And I'm a DOCTOR, I can say these things!]
The only negative thing I can think of is that then there would be Hello Kitty Pipes, Hello Kitty Pipe-tampers, Hello Kitty Tobacco Pouches, Hello Kitty Pipe Racks, Hello Kitty Man Purses, Hello Kitty Virginia Flake, Hello Kitty Dark Twist, Hello Kitty London Mixture, Hello Kitty Scotch Blend, Hello Kitty Cavendish, Hello Kitty Balkan Mixture, Hello Kitty Casbah Dreams......
[I'm fairly certain Sanrio would have NO objection to any of this - there's already some plenty weird crap with Hello Kitty blazoned upon it. Motorbikes, Love Motels, Bondage Gear, Cake Pans, Toilet Seats, Cocktail Shakers, Stripper Panties, Telephones, Tool Boxes, Jackboots, Crash Helmets, Weapons...... ]
Pipe smoking isn't a macho habit. It is as feminine as you want it to be. Or not.
But it's entirely up to you.
And you have my complete support.
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