DUTCH UNCLE COOKING

There is a logical connection between the Catholic Church, ritual cannibalism, and eating fruitbats. That last one can make you insane, so it is best to limit it or cut it out entirely.

Centuries ago my ancestors had to leave what is now Northern Brabant because otherwise the Catholics (Spanish) would have slaughtered them. Since then, Dutch Calvinists have been charged with chasing Spaniards (Catholics) out of wherever they can be found, which explains much of Dutch Colonial History, most particularly our assaults on the Spanish and Portuguese positions in Asia. We assaulted both Macau and Manila. We conquered Ceylon, Formosa, and Malacca (temporarily), and the Spice Islands (a lot longer). In Borneo we found head hunting, in New Guinea ritual cannibalism, particularly in protein-poor areas.
And of course fruitbats, like upside down Catholic priests, were everywhere.

FRUITBATS ARE SOMETIMES A VALUABLE SOURCE OF PROTEIN

Fruitbats are good in a port wine reduction. Which we learned from the Catholics.
Fruitbats concentrate toxins from what they eat in their flesh.
Which affects both your nerves and brain.
This is cumulative.

If you eat 'em.

Even with a lovely port wine reduction.

Ritual cannibalism spreads human spongiform encephalitis (kuru), which was discovered in upland New Guinea, but remains endemic in Arkansas, Mississippi, and parts of Scotland.


Fortunately, Spam is now common in most tropical parts of the world (and beastly bogs like Scotland), and the Catholics no longer wish to exterminate my ancestors or other Dutch Calvinists, though they still look at us funny. The world has become a better place.

I do a great sauce for wild game, by the way.



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