ERUCTATIONS AND BORBORYGMI

It is as of this writing precisely and approximately fifteen hours later than San Francisco in Hong Kong. Even if you read this essay in a day or two, it will still be so. Which means that at the moment it is time to go the nearest commercial centre to feast upon little cart noodles. May I suggest fried fish balls, turnip, black mushroom, dollops of curry sauce and satay sauce, with clear stock and Shanghai noodles? Garnished with chives and cilantro.
You can thank me later.

[In order: 炸魚蛋 ('jaa yü yuen'), 蘿蔔 ('lo baak'), 冬菇 ('dung gu'), 咖喱汁 ('gaa lei jap'), 沙嗲汁 ('saa de jap'), 清湯 ('ching tong'), 粗麵 ('chou min'). 韭菜 ('gau choi'), 芫茜 ('yuen sai'). Little cart noodles: 車仔麵 ('che jai min'.]

One pajama clad leg hurked up on your chair, feet in flip-flops, telly showing a programme with a snarky intelligent woman commenting very wittily about silly American rightwing hosebags, and loud chatter from the next stall over. Sheer heaven.

I'm sorry, they don't have any of that in Ohio.
No intelligent women either.
Nor pajamas.

Please imagine big gallumphing farmers heading out to the loo behind the chicken coop in oversize overalls in the middle of the night. Men, women, and cousin Ned who wants to be called Sally. They ate too much corn and taters with their chicken.
Which was so fried it was partly carbonized.
To kill them salmonellies.
Or tricknoses.

Yeah, whatever.

What y'all need in the great American hinterland to start is decent hotsauce or chili paste, cucumbers, and a cooking school. I know what y'all do there, and I'm not surprised that digestive upsets kill more of you than the mass murder gun events y'all so fond of.

Gives you a much needed opportunity for "thoughts and prayers".
Without that, you'd never come up with the idea.
BTW: your teams suck. Big time.

The great American dinner is boiled corn niblets, plank-like fried chicken, grits, mushy carrots, and potatoes. Washed down with ice tea or a carbonated beverage.
And a slice of white bread.


Somebody asked me yesterday "what the heck is this?"
It's a vegetable, sonny, yau choi (油菜).
Brassica rapa.


Metamucil. And plenty prunes.
Worst case: Dulcolax.



==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================