MATURE MEN AND THEIR ONIONS

It is a federal, state, and city holiday today. So of course my apartment mate has the day off. She does not like the smell of smoke. Which means that I am outside a lot, enjoying the fresh air, and poisoning everybody on the street with my horrible tobacco fumes. Because we are experiencing fine February-March weather, I am freezing my butt off, and they are all safely indoors letting their dogs pooh in the hallway closet for a change while disapproving of my horrid habits.

Big Sister is watching you, and wants you to wave your flag.

Really, this weather is unseasonal. In my day the tail end of May would be warm and sunny. And perhaps it is elsewhere, but because San Francisco is being ruined by liberals, we've turned off the heat and are conserving energy. Expect a strongly worded letter to the editor about this, casting blame at the younger generation! This will not stand.
Addressed, in exclusionary sexist fashion: Dear Sir!

If I had a dog, he (or she) would be pooing an awful lot today.
While freezing and breathing second hand smoke.
Come on, Fido, bathroom time!

The temperatures outside make me feel a lot like Grampa Simpson. Complain a lot, and tell people about the time I went to Shelbyville with an onion tied to my belt.
For new shoe soles, and lunch.

The onion, you probably grasp, was to prepare some lovely brined chicken, which would be splendid for lunch. Rub a young cockerel well with salt and a smidgeon of ground pepper, stick it in the refrigerator overnight covered with cling wrap. Then rinse it, and submerge it in gently boiling water three times, cooling it immediately after each blanch in chilled water with icecubes. This firms up the flesh and taughtens the skin. Bring the water back to a boil, add peppercorns, star anise, ginger, quartered onion, a tablespoon of sugar and plenty of salt, a generous splash of rice wine or sherry, and a jigger or soy sauce. Plus a bay leaf. Bring to a soft simmer, put in the chicken, and after five minutes or so turn off the heat. Put a plate on top of the bird to submerge it and let the remaining heat permeate the flesh evenly for two hours, then take it out, and when it's cool enough to handle chop or rip as you deem fit.


The liquid can be strained and reduced as a splash for the plated chicken.

Serve with rice, simply cooked vegetables, and sambal.


Then go out and walk the dog again.

Dang, it's cold.



This March weather is getting to me.



Post scriptum: Apparently it hit one hundred degrees Fahrenheit in Shanghai today. Quite unseasonably warm. There are rumours of residents running naked through the sweltering darkness screaming about the Republican Party ruining everything with their global climate change plots. Would I exaggerate? Good heavens no. Lucky stiffs.
Rat-infested cell blocks, seedy hotel rooms!



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