BUT THEY'RE USELESS!

The stuffed turkey vulture wishes to inform me that he performs a useful service: trash clean up. I don't like dealing with the rightwing turdballs at work, right? Elderly crypto-nazi scum gets my goat. But for a nominal fee, he will make them disappear. Parts of them. All I have to do is take him to work with me, he'll lure the useless old fossils out back, where there's a baseball bat (and no witnesses), then "clop", followed by nom nom nom.

Well okay, I'll have to help him with the baseball bat.

No thumbs, and no leverage.

Easy peasy.

At the beginning of my work week this is far less appealing than at the end, but it is never not appealing.

Still, I think there might be problems.

What to do with left-overs.



Considering that he is less than a foot tall, and most of them much larger, this will be an issue. Authorities look askance, society disapproves, cops have questions, and nutritionists object. And then there's the vegans. Go for the vegetable equivalent, little fella. It's safer.
Not better for the planet, just safer.


Most brands of barbecue sauce are vegan.
I find this contradictory.



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