I NEED A DUBONNET!

A very likeable boisterous New Yorker of my acquaintance has mentioned Pia Zadora several times recently, so often that he must be obsessed. Which is understandable. Who doesn't like the artist widely know as worst new star of the eighties? Apparently he has seen her on stage.
For which he paid.

Naturally, I best remember her for the Playboy Spread and the Dubonnet advertising campaign. The first put me off nudie mags, and while the ads claimed that Dubonnet was the French word for cocktail, and perfect for lovers, I almost instinctively developed a loathing for pretentious French crap that lasts till this day.

I think I saw Pia Zadora once in a movie. She had a starring role. For the life of me I cannot remember which flick, or which theatre. Her filmography lists nine movies: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Butterfly Fake-Out, The Lonely Lady, Voyage of the Rock Aliens, Feel the Motion, Hairspray, Troop Beverly Hills, Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult.

It's probably a mental block.

None of these look like a must-see winner.

Here's a promotional poster for Dubonnet by A. M. Cassandre (1901 - 1968) which make it look like a neat-o product to consume. Fifteen percent alcohol. The queen mother drank it; it probably kept her malaria-free (because of the inclusion of quinine).

NOT Pia Zadora!

It's a "vin tonique au quinquina". Queen Elizabeth II enjoys a cocktail consisting of two parts Dubonnet, one part gin, slice of lemon, plus ice everyday before lunch. But it can be drunk straight.

Perhaps it's finally time for a Pia Zadora movie-fest. An introspective on the career of this woman. With, of course, cocktails.

If a nearby gay-western bar takes the pictures of shiny naked men with their penises off the walls, and replaces them with Freddie Mercury, it will be the perfect venue.


People will love it.





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