Tuesday, December 18, 2018


In a staggering blow to good Christians everywhere, the Trump Foundation, also known as the 'Privy Purse' and 'Putin Orphanage For Unhappy Rich People' will be forced to dissolve itself under judicial supervision.

Apparently there had been a rather inconsequential pattern of law-breaking involving the foundation, illegal co-ordination with the presidential campaign, repeated self-dealing, and really very minor chicanery.

The Foundation functioned largely as a personal chequebook for its officers.
Exactly as it should. Because that's what charities are for!
Ivanka and the droogs are heartbroken!

Like all of you, I am horrified.

This is a blow to Republican kindness, and must not stand.

I, frankly, don't see how we can continue the Festive Season now.
It's nothing more than a charade, and all celebration must cease .

The foundation was a splendid resource for settling business lawsuits as well as a valuable and necessary political tool, protecting our near god-like leader from being distracted in his sanctified task of tear-gassing infants, assisting Saudi savagery, tantrums, pandering to the Russians, and other crucial nation-building activities. Sadly, there may be millions of dollars in penalties against the president and his three oldest children.

I join all loyal Republicans in outrage and grief.

Stop your Christmas jollifications forthwith.

If you continue, you are a foreigner.

Disloyal, and un-American.

Sorry, is my giddiness too broad?

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