Wednesday, December 28, 2011


For a man who is unattached, I am remarkably opinionated about how women should dress. This was the consensus after a conversation with several other people.
It was, naturally, prompted by passage of a female person with quite unsound clothing choices. The other gentlemen smoking at the wall followed her with their eyes. There was little need to mentally undress her, as she had done most of the work for them.
So much exposure in cold weather speaks of a singular deficit elsewhere.

I barely noticed her - my attention instead was caught by a young lady passing in the opposite direction.
A person with neat hair, glasses, a pretty face.
And a body which in all likelihood may have been small and slim, but as she was bundled up against the cold, that is mere speculation. Judging by the face and feet, she was probably trim.
She looked alert and intelligent.
Precisely the kind of girl one should like to know.

Some of the nicest people in the world wear glasses.

Subsequent discussion with the cigar smokers established that I had keenly observed the wrong woman.
My lack of common sense and manly tastes had prevented me from drinking in the charms of someone who was all legs and cleavage.
Glasses, most of my comrades opined, feh!

You know, everyone can grow cleavage. Add a bit of pudge by eating burgers, and wear a push-up bra. Paint a bit of rouge subtly down the centre, and presto!
Or purchase more extreme augmentation.
All of the stupidest dumbest pin-up bombs have cleavage.

Gentlemen, every woman has breasts.
But nice women also have brains.

And as far as legs are concerned, in this weather it is more than remarkably vain to insist on showing them off. Legs are indeed delightful, but if you do not feel the cold, please consult a doctor.
She'll probably tell you that your nerve endings have died.
As well as whatever grey cells you had.
Yes, I personally would not mind looking admiringly at the legs of a brilliant PHD wearing nothing but pearls and glasses.
But I do not wish that to happen on the public street.
Nice women should NOT be exposed to the prurience of cigar smokers.
The best venue for such a view is somewhere both romantic and private.
There is absolutely no need, nor any possible salutary consequence, to a vulgar public exhibition of procreational feminine attributes.


Nice women might wear skirts of a reasonable length, perhaps combined with panty hose, silk stockings, or thigh-highs, above that a proper blouse that barely even shows a bit of collar bone, and in this weather a sweater or cardigan, along with a coat of course - it is the middle of winter - plus glasses, pearls, and an intelligent inquisitive expression.
Comfortable shoes - stylish is okay, as long as they don't hurt.
Nothing else!
The blouse and the skirt should be contrasting colours, the pearls should be off-white and lustrous.

I'll make an exception for trousers - if the material is opaque and the waistband is at the actual waist, these too are perfectly appropriate.

In warm weather the top may be short-sleeved, and of thinner material.

A woman who dresses like a lady and carries herself as such is admirable.
Someone who calculates her clothing for maximum sireen effect, however, is not a lady.

Many cigar smokers do not grasp this.
But I know that there are still women out there who do.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

No comments:

Search This Blog


There are times when I wished I had spent more time trying to learn Shanghainese. Years ago I knew several people from Shanghai, and if I ha...