Sunday, October 27, 2019

ATTENTION, AIR DUCT MEN. YOU ESPECIALLY, JAMES

Probably because this phone is listed as a land-line number, which is unusual and even eccentric in this day and age, it receives a number of pre-recorded mercantile ("scam") calls that it does not wish to get.

Policemen's Benevolent Associations.

Healthcare options for the very old.

Republican political campaigns.

You have won a free thingy.

Air duct cleaning services.


That last one is more frequent, and thus more irritating. Rather than angrily screaming into the receiver at a machine, I simply hang up. I will never have my air ducts cleaned. Primarily because I'm perfectly fine with how my throat and bronchial tubes work.


"Hi, this is James, from your local air duct cleaning company ... "


You know, James, Jimmie Boy, I may just book an appointment to clobber you upside the head. I have a two-by-four with rusty nails, and I know exactly where I can get a vat of acid.

James, do you have lingering childhood traumas?
I can make those come back every night.

Hi James. What are you wearing?



Pursuant thereto, an internet query tells me that although acids can dissolve a body, sulfuric acid being mentioned in particular, for a quick fix of James, his brother Stan, and the benevolent policemen who keep trying to guilt-trip me, lye might be better, and is probably faster, even if not as thorough.

I present this information for self-helpers.
Write your own thrilling mystery.
Happy Halloween.


Oh James .....


Sulfuric acid, Wikipedia
Hydrofluoric Acid, Wikipedia
Lye, Wikipedia



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