Conversations among cigar smokers tend toward strange. They're not the only ones, of course, and as an example I present this overheard snippet: "he was a beautiful child, how did he end up looking like this?!?"
Which I didn't wish to overhear.
Never-the-less. Three active speakers. Cigar-huffing men. One Nicaraguan Toro, two Dominicans of different brands and shapes.
"So, are you responsible for all the empty liquor bottles I keep finding?"
"No, I'm not the only one swilling booze here. There's also Ricky."
"Oh yeah, he does appear to be becoming an alcoholic."
"A wife and five kids."
"So, what liquor do you like, Eckerman?"
"Oh, mostly Scotch, but I hardly drink anymore."
"Huh? When did you stop drinking and beating your wife?"
Eckerman averred that he hasn't stopped drinking and beating his wife.
In actual fact, Eckerman does NOT beat his wife, and never did. He loves her very much, and he's a gentleman, despite his liking cheap Dominicans and similar trash. The reason he seldom drinks has to do with his delicate digestive system, which is why he also avoids delicious hot sauces, fresh chilies, salsas, spicy condiments, and achars. If the cigar is too bitter, or contains a lot of ligero leaf, it will also stress out his tum tum.
This is the same man who starts the day with two or three energy drinks, which taste nasty, and are the equivalent of liquid crack.
His stomach has an unpleasant personality.
As a pipe smoker, I get to listen in on stuff like this. I am a neutral witness, and an impartial observer. I am not gathering material for a doctoral thesis.
Today, due to Pacific Gas and Electric shutting off the power to two million people in order to keep the shareholders from being sued and losing their money, or perhaps it's part of an experimental mob control project, or a snit on their part because we don't appreciate them enough and want to see them all strung up after prolonged torture, I shall not be seeing any of these men, and I am "enjoying" an additional day off.
Enjoying is not the right word.
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LETTER BOX.
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