At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Monday, July 17, 2017

SCOTCH MOTH DAD LIKES A SOFT BOILED EGG

An internet Caledonian has very strong opinions about soft-boiled eggs, and consequently believes we Americans are hopeless, because we don't have egg cups. I say "we", even though I possess an egg cup, as I feel that on the whole he is right. We Americans hardly ever eat soft-boiled eggs. Somewhat less often in fact than hard-boiled eggs (we are gehakte eier mavins like you wouldn't believe, mmm, eier salat on New York rye!), and far, far less often than we have scrambled eggs or omelettes.

Americans make really horrid scrambled eggs and omelettes, by the way, it's damned well barbaric! There's a difference between "runny" and "rubbery", and it's NOT just the spelling!

But anyhow, here's a ranting Scotsman.
From Twitter.


moth dad @innesmck:

I'VE JUST BEEN INFORMED AMERICANS DO NOT HAVE EGG CUPS AND I AM SO ANGRY RN


THIS IS ALMOST AS BAD AS WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU DON'T ALL HAVE KETTLES, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK


okay all you people asking me what an egg cup is better be fucking joking i swear to god


WHERE THE HELL DO YOU PUT YOUR EGGS






















jesus fucking christ


and don't even get me started on the fact american eggs need to be refrigerated


IF YOU JUST DON'T WASH THE PROTECTIVE COATING OFF THEM YOU CAN KEEP EGGS ANYWHERE


serious life hack, tell your farmers


ok ok seriously though we did not go through 300 MILLION YEARS OF EVOLUTION to have an egg just roll around on a fucking plate


AND HOW DO YOU KEEP THE YOLK IN? does it just pour everywhere or do you have to hold the egg upright, or...? what is your game there?


alright, so what i'm hearing here, and this is pretty upsetting news, is that americans DO NOT SOFT BOIL THEIR EGGS


I am going for a walk, this is too messed up


so many hard boiled eggs
just solid fucking eggs
rolling around on plates



and also WIND THE FUCK BACK UP because apparently a bunch of you americans who said you did have kettles meant STOVE TOP and that is fucked


okay look i know i got emotional here but if nothing else i try to be an educator, so americans, for your own good, you need to know


1. electric kettles are good & cheap & boil water in 2 minutes here and you can never be fully trusted if i do not see one in your kitchen


2. when you boil eggs you need to stop before the yolk gets hard and then put it in an egg cup and cut the top off and dip bread in it


I know I can trust you all to accept and learn from your mistakes, I understand, we are all still growing


3 I believe in you


never fucking test my patience like this again, though, jesus christ



[END CITE]

[SOURCE: Mashable: America, this Scottish person wants you to stop eating eggs wrong.]




He has a point. Other things at which Americans fail are English breakfasts, American breakfasts, any breakfasts, coffee, tea, and beer.
Plus herring. Y'all really bad at herring.




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1 Comments:

  • At 5:00 PM, Anonymous Don Sigismundo said…

    India?

    Your website is in India?

    What the actual hell.

    That notwithstanding, I truly liked this post.

    Good reporting, ATBOTH.

     

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