Monday, July 03, 2017

KEEP YOUR SHORTS ON!

This blogger does not watch nearly enough television. Even though I know that, for instance, Game of Thrones is a 'thing', I have yet to see a single episode. Of several Sherlock Holmes series, I may have taken in snippets. No sports, no steamy romances, and no reality garbage other than the crap my apartment mate has on in the background while she internets (both of our computers are in the teevee room).
She watches those as "how NOT tos". Important lessons, or de-inspiration.
How not to be a bitch. How not to be Gordon Ramsey.
How not to murder a husband or wife.
How not to "bride".

She's in her room trying to sleep off a cold right now, so the idiot box is silent. But it will be on tomorrow early, when she gets back on the web.


A friend on the East Coast asks: "How are you guys with intense heat and unnecessary nudity?" Apparently a quote from something. He missed the show. I didn't even know what it was.

I'm fine with moderate warmth and enough necessary nudity.
Anything more than that is excessive.


I am imagining my boss, presently two states away, in tasteful swimming togs near a lake, working on his peeling sunburn, getting horribly bitten by mosquitoes, and visiting his grandchildren. One of the girls did something astounding while I was on the phone with him (he praised her), probably a dive or a splash.

Tastefull swimming togs.

No Speedos!

I suppose there is some bareness or undress involved, it being near a body of water, but I am emphatically NOT imagining his flesh, his wife's flesh, his daughter's flesh, or his grand-daughters' flesh, or any other bathers at that sun-drenched body of water with mosquitoes. However pink or whitey-white all of them may be. The tasteful swimming togs (not Speedos) are modest, probably thick canvas, with pockets. Solid colours.

Or striped.

[Edward Gorey: The Curious Sofa]

How am I with intense heat and unnecessary nudity? I'll pass on both.
Is there a steamy Eskimo soap-opera? One with people so fabulously over-dressed that they look two humans wide?


"Shyly, Palluqtuq glanced sideways at Kumaglak. She couldn't see his face because of the big bushy fringe of fur surrounding it, but she knew it was there. They were all alone behind the snowdrift in the blizzard. She blushed."


Now that's my kind of show. Any nudity that will occur is probably partial (a bare arm or nape, maybe the ears), definitely ill-advised. It may be several years before Kumaglak sees his lovely wife Palluqtuq's right or left nipple.
That blizzard is inconvenient, but normal.
Their version of summer.

The erotic tension is killing me.


See, bikinis or swimsuits, even tasteful striped swimming togs, in the lovely arctic settlement of Qunaqitpin just below the circle, are practically suicidal.
A splash of water, when you are thus garbed, will turn your skin blue and crackly in seconds. Dang, this is exciting!

How am I with unnecessary heat and intense nudity? There has to be more to the show than just that. Otherwise it's just mediocre pornography bollicksed up with "character development" and a story line.

In private, it's different.


Nevertheless, I shall operate under the assumption that my friend's question on Facebook was rhetorical, and relevant to some geeky show he watches, because anything otherwise is madness.

I am sane and clothed.




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