At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017


A few weeks ago I saw a list of what women really notice about men, and what turns them on. Of course the list was based on the responses of a few very extroverted ladies who did not mind telling the interviewer far too much about themselves, rather than the introverted shy geology graduates most normal men would like to date, so it does not reflect objective reality.

Naturally I skipped over most of the responses as being ridiculous if not downright idiotic. Fortunately a few have some bearing.

Herewith the truly important ones.
Nothing else is important.

"Does he have a British accent? "

This blogger dare not venture out too far on Saint Patrick's Day or Indian Independence Day, because at those times things may happen that aren't pleasant. Especially with his accent. Too British-sounding, and much more so when confronting tipsy idiots. Basil Fawlty talking at O'Reilly.
But the accent is more in-between than British.

"The cleanliness of his car. "

No car.

"Clean neat eyebrows."


"Books; he has to have books."

Far too many of them. Books give me a sense of security, and being surrounded by them gives me a feeling of home.

"I don’t find bald men attractive."

Neither do I.

"Shoes, always."

I've got shoes.

"Clean ears."

This is your lucky decade!

"I only date foreign guys. "

This blogger is so bally foreign he practically qualifies as a green tentacled lizard alien. I voted for Kang and Kodos, twice. Because I misread the ballot (honestly, I thought it was the menu at a fast-food restaurant). Yandelavasa gudenwi stravenka. This tobacconist is scratched. Donde esta el inodoro?
Jagshemash, and chinqui.

"Is he shirtless and playing beach volleyball? "




It might be interesting to now list what it is that I first notice about women, but in all seriousness, I don't know what that is. Occasionally my dingbat-o-meter goes off, sometimes it's breasts, or perhaps that she is talking on a cell-phone. Does she have tousled hair? Is she happy?
How high is the unskankiness quotient?
A kind intelligent face?

With men, it's easy. How much do they look like trailer trash or druggies? And how self-important and entitled do they seem to be?

The key thing, especially once they open their mouths, is if they are odd enough that one instinctively draws back, and realizes that they might be a hassle to know any better. But that also counts for women.

In either case, it is best to avoid people who believe in flying saucers.
Unless they actually are space aliens, in which case contributing to interplanetary understanding is a noble cause.

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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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