At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

ARE YOU TORMENTED BY BAD DREAMS?

This blogger shamefacedly admits he is the wrong person to watch movies with. Any movies. My responses aren't up to snuff. For instance, the scene in a graveyard which is standard in many thrillers upsets me no end, as far too often there are sequence inconsistencies in stone dates, as well as, oh horrors, markers irregularly stuck in the ground in sloppy ranks.

That hunk of fake marble is not perfectly perpendicularly placed!

It just doesn't look like a proper cemetery.


Romantic scenes often provoke peals of laughter, or conversely boredom. "James, I'm frightened!" And then the young lady draws perceptibly closer to the hero's manly chest. Errm. Yes that's right, sweetums, when danger is at its most imminent, distract him with your heaving bosom.
That will surely help both of you escape.

She blushed prettily, and exclaimed "oh I just LOVE roses!"
Would that be fried, boiled, or roasted?
Pickled?

"I have cunning plan", he explained, as he tiptoed along the wall.
Cut to a scene of evil foreigners being careless.
The door behind them opens ....

There's a bunch of random dead guys now.
But they thoroughly deserved it.
As was made clear.



Why is it that in many serial horror movies the first victims are engaging in hanky panky downstairs after sending the children that one of them is supposed to be baby sitting up to bed early?

It always ends when the virginal heroine's young squire turns around to see the killer sitting up. Kills him with a crucifix he just happened to have, or a piece of furniture or a stake through the heart, he-man ultra-violence, the monster shudders and turns to dust, and then the young couple kiss as finally tears of relief flow down her girlish cheeks ......

Tears. Symbolic of "passion", I suppose.
About time. For both parties.
Release.



Just in case these movies ARE based on real life, I'm thinking I should carry a wooden stake around with me at all times. Or at least some garlic.

Because wherever there are monsters that require killing, you will find fresh-faced good girls. It stands to reason!

Destroying vampires gets you the sweet young thing.
Real men know this.




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