Sunday, April 23, 2017

DEAD UNICORN IN A CUP

This blogger is late to the party when it comes to many things. Years ago the phrase "I'm Rick James, bitch" made no sense to me for several months, and it wasn't until I saw the Chappelle Show on re-runs AND read up on Rick James that I started to piece together what it all meant.

Since then I have esteemed both Dave Chappelle and Rick James as minor gods, and I was sad when Charlie Murphy passed away. Truly a genius.

I still haven't learned to appreciate The Lord Of The Rings.
One probably has to be super-grown-up for that.
Sorry, I think it's twaddle.


So Starbucks new pink and blue bevvy for the with-it generation leaves me baffled, and I only recently found out that there was such a thing. I'm afraid that I'll never be adult enough to drink that shit in a bucket.
I've thrown up worse stuff.



UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO

It sounds like perfect frosted muck for people visiting their dating profile or internet shopping while at work. Or video-gaming in their basement squat.

Ice, milk, cream, "frappuccino" syrup (includes natural and artificial stuff), whipped cream, vanilla syrup, mango syrup, blue chocolate mocha syrup, plain syrup, plus pink and blue bunny dust.

A 16 ounce serving has 410 calories, 16 grams of fat, 58 grams of sugar.

There is no nutritional value whatsoever.

Nor any "coffee".


Calling this potable abortion a beverage is an insult to liquids.


"In European folklore, the unicorn is often depicted as a white horse-like or goat-like animal with a long horn and cloven hooves (sometimes a goat's beard). In the Middle Ages and Renaissance, it was commonly described as an extremely wild woodland creature, a symbol of purity and grace, which could only be captured by a virgin." [WIKIPEDIA]


No purity and grace here.
The virgin is a slag.
Barfahooiee.




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