THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH THE BOY!

Don't ever bring your Christian kin to Ching Ming (清明節). For one thing, they'll be useless because they don't do that heathen stuff. They won't clean graves, considering it completely useless and a total waste of time -- wishing to get the whole thing over with fast so they can go eat at the nearby famous restaurant -- and they won't burn incense, because hah who is going to smell it anyway?!? It's so silly!

Flowers and fruit for the graves? Do we really have to?

And don't even mention the paai san paai san.

We are Christians! We don't do that!


Well, you lot are fairly effing useless, are you sure you're even Chinese?


拜神拜神

My apartment mate did Ching Ming this past weekend with her kinfolk .
A few of whom have acquired Christian characteristics.
I got to experience it second-hand.

Christians do not burn incense or paper money at graves. They express surprise that graves should be scrubbed, and fresh flowers put out, even if only once a year. They do not understand any concept involving reverence for departed relatives, at all. They are, all things considered, fairly lazy and stupid, and the well-adjusted pagans present end up doing all the work. Which involves fruits, flowers, buns and roast meats from Chinatown, plus shlepping and scrubbing and setting fires and other things that work up a sweat. The Christians won't lift a finger in this heathen ritual.

They'll just whine and say "can we go eat now?"

Because they heard of a restaurant...

Famous, and very nearby!

With ice-cream!


My apartment mate despairs over the youngest one, because the dear boy seems totally unacquainted with fire, has led a sheltered and pampered life filled with nothing that could offend him, and might be quite unable to ever hold his own in math class when the time comes because logic and causality are foreign to him. He has an insular existence.

I have told her not to worry, the kid is Christian.
He'll never need that, and Christians don't burn.
Besides, no one ever cleans up Christian graves.

He hasn't any clear brightness; he's a Christian.

All he has to worry about are the maggots, eventually, and being poked at with a sharp stick to see if he still moves. If he doesn't, just tip some leaves over him and go off to the restaurant.
There is ice-cream there!
I've heard of it.



PS.: Wild Irish Rose is NOT a suitable liquor for the dead.
Hennesy or rice wine. Never bottom shelf bum plonk.




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